Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, quirky, some of which are also profoundly true.

The most trying fools are the bright ones. - Duc de La Rochefoucauld

The next war will be fought with atom bombs and the one after that with spears. - Harold Urey

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action. - Unknown

The old begin to complain of the conduct of the young when they themselves are no longer able to set a bad example. - Francois La Rochefoucauld

The one thing children wear out faster than shoes is parents. - John J. Plomp

The one thing we have never been able to save for a rainy day is an umbrella. - Unknown

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper is that your guests are so pleased to feel how very much better they are. - Eleanor Roosevelt

The only imaginative fiction being written today is income tax returns. -  Herman Wouk

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix

The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen. - Sarah Brown

The only thing that hurts more than paying an income tax is not having to pay an income tax. - Thomas R. Dewar

The only thing worse than a knee-jerk liberal is a knee-pad conservative. - Edward Abbey

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them. - Kin Hubbard

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. - Oscar Wilde

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears this is true. - James Branch Babell

The pen is mightier than the sword if the sword is very short, and the pen is very sharp. - Terry Pratchett