Humorous Quotes

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For one to admire a woman merely for her beauty, is to love the building for its exterior; but to love one for the greatness of her soul, is to appreciate the tenement for its intrinsic value. - William Scott Downey

We should thank God that He did not give us the power of hearing through walls; otherwise there would be no such thing as friendship. - Austin O’Malley

Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.. - Diana Jordan

If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her. - Unknown

Dealing with stupid people is like playing soccer. You can use your head but a swift kick is more effective. - Aunty Acid

I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. - Mackey Miller

At Christmas, many of us sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of our socks. - Unknown

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. - Jack Benny

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

A man in love is like a clipped coupon - it's time to cash in. - Mae West

Do not disturb, I’m disturbed enough already. - Unknown

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser. - Unknown