Humorous Quotes

For Google+ readers, please click on the link to see the post …

The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. - Woody Allen

Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: “Now bring on that damn cat!” - Eleanor Early

I am told to just be myself, but as much as I have practiced the impression, I am still no good at it. - Robert Brault

I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

Great ladies are like the best sauces – it is better not to know how they are made. - Octave Mirbeau

It’s better to have your nose in a book, than in someone else’s business. - Adam Stanley

Being Irish is very much a part of who I am. I take it everywhere with me. - Unknown

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. - Steven Wright

There are no good girls gone wrong – just bad girls found out. - Mae West

Abandon the search for truth, settle for a good fantasy. - Unknown

Age mellows some people; others it makes rotten. - Unknown

Don’t give cherries to pigs or advice to fools. - Unknown