Humorous Quotes

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How do those who contend that woman is the intellectual inferior of man account for the fact that she can give a man a piece of her mind 365 days in the year and still have a huge reserve supply? - Robert Elliot Gonzales

Always keep several ‘Get Well’ cards on the mantelpiece. That way, if unexpected guests arrive, they’ll think you've been sick and unable to clean. - Aunty Acid

He who has found a good wife has found great happiness, but a quarrelsome woman is like a roof that lets in the rain. - Andre Maurois

Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces. - Judith Viorst

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David Bissonette

People say that love is even more important than money; they have ever tried paying their bills with a hug. - Unknown

A quarrel is like buttermilk: once it's out of the churn, the more you shake it, the more sour it grows. - Unknown

Don't you know there ain't no devil? There's only God when He's drunk. - Tom Waits

If you don’t think women are explosive, drop one. - Gerald F. Lieberman

I don’t necessarily agree with everything I say. - Marshall McLuhan

I’m the person your mother warned you about. - Unknown

All men are idiots, and I married their king. - Unknown