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I’m supposed to have a Ph.D. on the subject
of women. But the truth is I’ve flunked more often than not. I’m very fond of
women; I admire them. But, like all men, I don’t understand them. - Frank Sinatra
How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being
who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in
his divine system of creation? - Joseph
Heller
Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the
good ones are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads
with a spoon. - Unknown
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They
wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day. - Unknown
The most trying misfortune that can befall a
man, is to be domesticated with a bad-tempered woman. - Charles William Day
Last week the candle factory burned down.
Everyone just stood around and sang, Happy Birthday. - Steven Wright
It’s all about money, not freedom, You think
you’re free? Try going somewhere without money. - Bill Hicks
I’m 59 and people call me middle aged. How
many 118 year old men do you know? - Barry
Cryer
The trouble with half-truths is that people
tend to believe the wrong half. - Unknown
I
don’t find it hard to meet expenses. They’re everywhere. - Unknown
I’m free of all prejudice, I hate everyone
equally. - W. C. Fields
Avoid hangovers: stay drunk. - Unknown
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