Monday, 15 February 2016

Humorous Quotes

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I’m supposed to have a Ph.D. on the subject of women. But the truth is I’ve flunked more often than not. I’m very fond of women; I admire them. But, like all men, I don’t understand them. - Frank Sinatra

How much reverence can you have for a Supreme Being who finds it necessary to include such phenomena as phlegm and tooth decay in his divine system of creation? - Joseph Heller

Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good ones are either taken or they've had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon. - Unknown

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day. - Unknown

The most trying misfortune that can befall a man, is to be domesticated with a bad-tempered woman. - Charles William Day

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, Happy Birthday. - Steven Wright

It’s all about money, not freedom, You think you’re free? Try going somewhere without money. - Bill Hicks

I’m 59 and people call me middle aged. How many 118 year old men do you know? - Barry Cryer

The trouble with half-truths is that people tend to believe the wrong half. - Unknown

I don’t find it hard to meet expenses. They’re everywhere. - Unknown

I’m free of all prejudice, I hate everyone equally. - W. C. Fields

Avoid hangovers: stay drunk. - Unknown

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