Humorous Quotes

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I think he is condemned by himself to loneliness. God is One: he was, he is, he will be always One. One is so lonely. Maybe that is why he created human beings – to feel less lonely. But as human beings betray his creation, he may become even lonelier. - Elie Wiesel

But the fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. - Carl Sagan

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married, you can’t even change the TV channel. - Unknown

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. - Isadora Duncan

There are women who never had an intrigue; but there are scarce any who never had but one. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld

The day your horse dies and your money’s lost, your relatives change to strangers. - Chinese Saying

Good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere. - Helen Gurley Brown

Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon. - Unknown

I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. - Unknown

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. - Unknown

Age is a number and mine is unlisted. - Unknown