Monday, 4 April 2016

Humorous Quotes

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. - Albert Einstein

Scientists have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is life after death – though they say it's virtually impossible to get decent Chinese food. - David Letterman

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Unknown

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time ... they're gone. - Lenny Bruce

It is easier to make a glass tube pliable than to convince an obstinate woman she is in fault. - William Scott Downey

If you can't answer a man's argument, all is not lost; you can still call him vile names. - Elbert Hubbard

Not a shred of evidence exists in favour of the idea that life is serious. - Brendan Gill

Please Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me. - Unknown

I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. - Chris Rock

Age is of no importance unless you're a cheese. - Billie Burke

If you cannot be a poet, be the poem. - David Carradine

I never trust a man who doesn’t drink. - John Wayne

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