Monday, 21 November 2016

Humorous Quotes

Men aren't really complicated ... They are very simple, literal creatures. They usually mean what they say. And we spend hours trying to analyze what they've said, when really it's obvious. - E. L James

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that “individuality” is the key to success. - Robert Orben

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. - Johnny Carson

I don't believe the kindliest of men ever learned about the death of his doctor without a feeling of smugness. - Richard Gordon

In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of the publicity. - Lauren Bacall

No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when he himself is up. - Robert Lynd

People have an annoying habit of remembering things they shouldn’t. - Christopher Paolini

Just my luck! When my ship came in, I was stuck at the airport! - Max Kauffmann

Love, the quest; marriage, the conquest; divorce, the inquest. - Helen Rowland

My weaknesses have always been food and men – in that order. - Dolly Parton

I failed to make the chess team because of my height. - Woody Allen

A real girl isn’t perfect and a perfect girl isn’t real. - Harry Styles

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