Dealing With Anger

No matter how sweet our temperament and nature is, we still get angry once in a while – at things, at people, at situations, at ourselves,…etc. That is only natural because we, humans are emotional beings after all. However, it is important to keep your cool, and keep your mouth shut, when you are teeming with anger. This way, you will not do, or say anything you will regret later. It is easy to lash out, when somebody, or something gets your goat, but the damage is usually quite irreparable.

Anger is a negative energy. Being angry, and harbouring all the negative energies is not beneficial to anyone, least of all to ourselves. Once we know how these destructive emotions affect our health, and our well-being, we should make an effort to curb our anger. We should remind ourselves constantly that our peace of mind is more important than anything else. Nothing is worth our getting angry.

So, what could possibly cause us to be angry, and to go off the deep end. Usually, it’s either situations, or people. I would say people are the main cause of our getting angry – people, and the annoying things they do and/or say. Sometimes, even their presence, their being around can annoy the hell out of us.

Let’s have a look at why we are angry and how we can overcome the situation.

When things don’t go according to our expectations.

Sometimes, unexpected situations arise to turn our best laid plans topsy turvy, causing us inconvenience and discomfort. While this is annoying, we should deal with it maturely. We have to accept that sometimes, things don’t go according to plan, and inconvenient as it is, that is life. These things happen. All we need to do is have a change of plans, and move on. Who knows, our day might end up better, or more fruitful for it. Be positive. And if it didn’t, at least we did something different.

Angry with People

There are nasty, annoying, and awful people everywhere. Sometimes, it is the things they say, sometimes, it is the things they do. Somehow, they just get on your nerves. People are who they are, and they can’t help it. Accept them for who they are, and let them be. There is nothing we can do about them, except to acknowledge that such people exist. We don’t have to be their friends.

We can go a step further, and try to understand why they are who they are. Maybe life hasn’t been kind to them, maybe they were not properly educated… there could be a host of reasons. If you can adopt such a mindset, you will empathise and feel sorry for them. You can’t be angry with someone when you feel sorry for them.

Angry with Criticisms

When we hear negative criticisms about us, we become angry very quickly. Our pride is hurt. We feel indignant that someone has the audacity to say negative things about us.

However, the fact is there is no need for us to get angry. We should in fact thank people for their criticisms. It is through criticisms that we see where we have gone wrong, and improve ourselves. And if the criticisms are baseless, we should just ignore them. There is no need to be angry at something that is untrue. The uncalled for criticisms reflect on the lack of taste, or knowledge of the critic, and not on us.

Angry with Ourselves

Sometimes, we lash out when we are angry. We took our anger out on things, and/or people. Sometimes, we damage things, or hurt people, sometimes, innocent people who have nothing to do with our anger. They just happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, and we simply lashed out because we need to vent our anger.

When we have cooled down, and realized what we have done, we are angry again, this time, with ourselves for losing control of ourselves. This should remind us, not to lash out blindly, but to keep a cool head. Otherwise, we would be angry twice, and life is too short to be living from one moment of anger to the next.

Besides, it is easy to forgive and get over our anger with situations, or other people, but it will take a long time to get over the anger with yourself.

At the end of the day, it is us who loses control over ourselves and us responding to stimulus that make us angry. If we can only take a deep breath, and look at things objectively, we will find that there is no need, nor reason for us to be angry.

When a situation arises, ask yourself, "Can I do something about it?" If you can, then there is no need to be angry, because you can rectify the situation. And if you can't doing anything about it, then there is no point being angry because nothing can be done. Accept the situation, and move on.

The critical thing here is to not lash out immediately. That is why, it is suggested that when you are angry, you should count to ten before responding. And when you are very angry? Count to one hundred!