Take a look at today’s selection of Wacky Humour. Remember the ones you like best, and go spread some laughter around. No one will ever has enough laughter, or complain that they have laughed too much.
May your weekend be fill with laughter.
The difference between us and other people is that their money looks bigger and their troubles smaller. - Evan Esar
Despite a lifetime of service to the cause of sexual liberation, I have never caught venereal disease, which makes me feel rather like an Arctic explorer who has never had frostbite. - Germaine Greer
My grandfather’s a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside, and left me there. - Ron Richards
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. - Mel Brooks
So tell me, where shall I go? To the left, where nothing’s right? Or to the right, where nothings left? - Unknown
There is never a deed so foul that something couldn’t be said for the guy; that’s why there are lawyers. - Melvin Belli
Some taxpayers close their eyes, some stop their ears, some shut their mouths, but all pay through the nose. - Evan Esar
Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts. - Lt. Frank Drebin
The government has discovered a great new way of cutting down on unemployment – they’re going to raise the school leaving age to forty-seven. - Jerry Dennis
What do I do when I see someone extremely gorgeous? I stare, I smile and when I get tire … I put the mirror down. Gaurav Sindana
There is one other reason for dressing well, namely that dogs respect it, and will not attack you in good clothes. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is. - Ellen Degeneres
The girl who is chaste is probably a virgin; the girl who is chased is probably not. - Evan Esar
Vegetarianism – You are what you eat, and who wants to be a lettuce? - Peter Burns
She asked me if I wanted to attend her wedding, and I started crying as I said, “I do.” - Jarod Kintz
They say love is blind… and marriage is an institution. Well, I’m not ready for an institution for the blind just yet. - Mae West
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