Funny Bar Signs

Quote Worthy

The question for each man to settle is not what he would do if he had means, time, influence and educational advantages, but what he will do with the things he has. - Hamilton Wright Mabie

Everyone who’s ever taken a shower has an idea. It’s the person who gets out of the shower, dries off and does something about it who makes a difference. - Nolan Bushnell

Some people want to see everything go wrong for you because nothing is going right for them. - Unknown

Learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all that you want. - Jim Rohn

The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy. - Jim Rohn  

People who bite the hand that feeds them usually lick the boot that kicks them. - Eric Hoffer

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go. - Unknown

Be someone else’s sunshine. Be the reason someone smiles today. - Unknown

We never reflect how pleasant it is to ask for nothing. - Charlotte Whitton

Affliction, like the iron-smith, shapes as it smites. - Christian Nestell Bovee

It is double the pleasure to deceive the deceiver. - Jean De La Fontaine

Not everyone you lose is a loss. - Unknown

Quote Worthy

Give me the discipline to get rid of the stuff that’s not important, the freedom to savour the stuff that gives me joy, and the patience not to worry about the stuff that’s messy but not hurting anybody. - Sue Fitzmaurice

The resources we need to turn our dreams into reality are within us, merely waiting for the day when we decide to wake up and claim our birthright. - Tony Robbins

Strive for detachment, concentrate in silence, conform to the nature of things, be without ego. Then mankind will be at peace. - Chuang Tzu

Standing alone, doesn’t mean that I’m alone, it means I’m strong enough to handle things all by myself. - Unknown

It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it. - Joseph Joubert

Fair play with others is primarily not blaming them for anything that is wrong with us. - Eric Hoffer

Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love you. - Unknown

Even in the darkest times, there is always a way. Don’t give up. - Unknown

No one is so old as to think he cannot live one more year. - David Viscott

Learn from your mistakes and build on your successes. - John Calhoun

The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose. - Hada Bejar

The earth has music for those who listen. - Unknown

Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, as well as simply, or profoundly true.

I am not aware that any community has a right to force another to be civilized. - John Stuart Mill

I am not eccentric. It's just that I am more alive than most people. I am an unpopular electric eel set in a pond of goldfish. - Edith Sitwell

I am not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over. - Unknown

I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. - Edith Sitwell

I am ready to meet my maker, but whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. - Winston Churchill

I am strongly in favour of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office. - H. L. Mencken

I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. - Fannie Lou Hamer

I am still an atheist, thank God. - Luis Bunnel

I am perfectly imperfect. - Unknown

I am taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see. - Unknown

I am too much of a sceptic to deny the possibility of anything. - Thomas Henry Huxley

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them. - Steve Martin

I believe in rules. Sure I do. If there weren’t any rules, how could you break them? - Leo Durocher

I came to the conclusion many years ago that almost all crimes are due to the repressed desire for aesthetic expression. - Evelyn Waugh

I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you. - Unknown

I can live for two months on a good compliment. - Mark Twain

Life - Quotes

The very best thing that you can do sometimes is just to keep going. Life may not be different today or tomorrow but one day in the future, you’ll look back and you’ll see that everything has changed for the better. - Unknown

Mindfulness helps you come home to the present. Life is available only in the present. That is why we should walk in such a way that every step can bring us to the here and the now. - Thich Nhat Hanh

As you get older, you will start to understand more and more that in life, it’s not about what you look like or what you own; it’s all about the person you’ve become. - Unknown

If you don’t make the time to work on creating the life you want, you’re eventually going to be forced to spend a lot of time dealing with a life you don’t want. - Unknown

Be as simple as you can; you will be astonished to see how uncomplicated and happy your life can become. - Paramahansa Yogananda

Bliss is achieved when you make a commitment to live the life which represents the true spirit that is you. - Sherri Bishop

No matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. - Maya Angelou

Life is going by. Don’t waste a minute being negative, offended, or bitter. Choose to be happy. - Unknown

Just when you’re about to give up on life, wait another day. Do this every time until life gets better. - Unknown

Sometimes in life, your situation will keep repeating itself until you learn your lesson. - Unknown

Life sometimes gives you a second chance. - Maya Angelou

Quote Worthy

What is the worst of woes that wait on age? What stamps the wrinkle deeper on the brow? To view each loved one blotted from life’s page, and be alone on earth. - Lord Bryon

There is no greater satisfaction for a just and well-meaning person than the knowledge that he has devoted his best energies to the service of the good cause. - Albert Einstein

The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. - Norman Vincent Peale

Some people see more in a walk around the block than others see in a trip around the world. - Unknown

The person who is waiting for something to turn up might start with their shirt sleeves. - Garth Henrichs

Many a man’s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street. - Elbert Hubbard

It's the man who waits for his ship to come in who's always missing the boat. - Unknown

The perpetual obstacle to human advancement is custom. - John Stuart Mill

There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in. - Leonard Cohen

There is a tendency for things to right themselves. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

War will be endless because peace isn’t profitable. - Unknown

The more you know, the more there is to know. - Unknown

How Cooking Can Change Your Life

Did you know there’s a way to have your cake and eat it too without feeling guilty over calories, sugars, and fats? Food writer Michael Pollan explains why home-cooking is the way to go even if you’re craving burgers and fries with cake for dessert.

http://www.wimp.com/cookingchange/

Video courtesy of www.wimp.com

Quote Worthy

The entrepreneur is essentially a visualiser and an actualiser. He can visualise something, and when he visualises it he sees exactly how to make it happen. - Robert L. Schwartz

The best cure for worry, depression, melancholy, brooding, is to go deliberately forth and try to lift with one's sympathy the gloom of somebody else. - Arnold Bennett

We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that we begin to see the present only when it is already disappearing. - R. D. Laing

The person you took for granted today, may turn out to be the person you need tomorrow. Be careful how you treat people. - Unknown

The people who are meant to be in your life will always gravitate back towards you, no matter how far they wander. - Unknown

I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward. - Thomas Edison

When I accept myself, I am freed from the burden of needing you to accept me. - Dr. Steve Maraboli

Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live. - Dorothy Thompson

Concern should drive us into action, not into a depression. - Karen Horney

Force may make hypocrites, but it can never make converts. - William Penn

Only if you dive for pearls shall you find one. - Unknown

A child who reads will be an adult who thinks. - Unknown

Quote Worthy

All truly wise thoughts have been thought already thousands of times; but to make them truly ours, we must think them over again honestly, till they take root in our personal experience. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

If you stand for something, you will always find some people for you and some people against you. If you stand for nothing, you will find nobody against you, and nobody for you. - William Bernbach

You don’t have to defend or explain your decisions to anyone. It’s your life. Live it without apologies. - Mandy Hale.

Sometimes, the person who’s been there for everyone else needs someone to be there for them. - Unknown

Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must, just never give up. - Dean Kamazes

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. - Bob Marley

Sometimes it’s okay to take a step back and admit you’re being ridiculous. - Unknown

Thought is the wind, knowledge the sail, and mankind the vessel. - Augustus Hare

Grades don’t measure intelligence and age doesn’t define maturity. - Unknown

The easiest person to deceive is one's own self. - Edward G. E. Bulwer-Lytton

To keep a lamp burning we have to keep putting oil in it. - Mother Teresa

Throw me to the wolves and I will return leading the pack. - Unknown

Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, as well as simply, or profoundly true.

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you are on. - Unknown

How many husbands have I had? You mean apart from my own? - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I always admired atheists. I think it takes a lot of faith. - Diane Frolov And Andrew Schneider

I always advise people never to give advice. - Pelham Grenville Wodehouse

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. - Charles Lamb

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and - I can’t remember what the third thing is. - Fred Allen

I always read the last page of a book first so that if I die before I finish I'll know how it turned out. - Nora Ephron

I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn. - C. E. Cowman

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. - Lily Tomlin

I am a friend of the working man, and I would rather be his friend, than be one. - Clarence Darrow

I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of. - Clarence Darrow

I am an idealist. I do not know where I am going, but I am on my way. - Unknown

I am ashamed of confessing that I have nothing to confess. - Fanny Burney

I am devilishly afraid, that's certain; but . . . I'll sing, that I may seem valiant. - John Dryden

I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. - W. C. Fields