Upgraded

              A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Harry what is your problem?’’ 

              Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!’’

              Ms Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed. 

              Harry was brought in, the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. 

              Principal: What is three times three?

              Harry: Nine.

              Principal: What is six times six?

              Harry: Thirty six.

              And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, “I think Harry can go to the third-grade.”

              Ms Brooks says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions?”

              The principal and Harry both agree. 

              Ms Brooks: What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? 

              Harry: Legs.

              Ms Brooks: What is in your pants that you have but I do not have? 

              Harry: Pockets.

              Ms Brooks: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? 

              The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.

              Harry: Coconut.

              Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? 

              Harry: Bubblegum.

              Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs? 

              Again the principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer. 

              Harry: Shake hands.

              Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some ‘Who am I’ sort of questions, okay? 

              Harry: Yep.

              Ms Brooks: You stick your pole inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. 

              Harry: Tent.

              Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.

              The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense. 

              Harry: Wedding Ring.

              Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. 

              Harry: Nose.

              Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. 

              Harry: Arrow.

              Ms Brooks: What word starts with an ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means a lot of heat and excitement?’’ 

              Harry: Fire truck.

              The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself.”