A Letter Of Appreciation

A letter which a lady wrote to Tide detergent company:

Dear Tide,

              I am writing to say what an excellent product you have! About a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was, and in general, started becoming a real pain in the neck. One thing led to another, and somehow I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse.

              I tried to get the stains out using a bargain detergent, but they just wouldn’t come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach, and to my surprise and complete satisfaction, all of the stains came out!

              In fact, the stains came out so well that the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative, and my attorney called to tell me that I would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.

              What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough, without being considered a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.

              Well, ‘gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty plastic bag people.