Joyce: “Darling, I’ll be overwhelmed with misery while I’m away from you!”
Fred: “Oh darling, if that were true, I’d be so happy!”
Teacher: Simon, your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it’s the same dog!
Teacher: Johnny, you missed school last Friday.
Johnny: I was absent, yes but I certainly didn’t miss it!
Teacher: Well, at least there’s one thing I can say about your son.
Parent: What’s that?
“Tell me, Mr. Wright,” said the personnel manage, “why did you leave your last job?”
“It was because of illness, sir,” answered Wright. “The boss got sick of me!”