Monday, 19 May 2014

Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironic, as well as simply, or profoundly true.

All political parties die at last of swallowing their own lies. - Dr. John Arbuthnot

All the world is queer save thee and me, and even thou art a little queer. - Robert Owen

Although I’m not fluent in sign language by a long way, I could have a fairly decent conversation. - Unknown

Always forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them quite so much. - Oscar Wilde

Always point your finger at the chest of the person with whom you are being photographed. You will appear dynamic. And no photo editor can crop you from the picture. - Ken Auletta

An actor’s a guy who, if you ain’t talking about him, ain’t listening. - Marlon Brando

An apology for the Devil: It must be remembered that we have only heard one side of the case. God has written all the books. - Samuel Butler

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her. - Agatha Christie

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer. - Fred Allen

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today. - Laurence Peter
An egotist is a man who thinks that if he had not been born, people would have wondered why. - Dan Post

An egotist is a person of low taste – more interested in himself than in me. - Ambrose Bierce

An encyclopaedia is a system for collecting dust in alphabetical order. - Mike Barfield

An epic is the easiest kind of picture to make badly. - Fred R. Barnard

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