Monday, 26 May 2014

Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironic, as well as simply, or profoundly true.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. - Unknown

An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it. - Laurence Peter

An onion can make people cry but there’s never been a vegetable that can make people laugh. - Will Rogers

An optimist is someone who goes after Moby Dick in a rowboat and takes the tartar sauce with him. - Zig Ziglar

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves. - Bill Vaughan

And behind every man who's a failure there's a woman, too! - John Ruge

And the things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those that got there first. - Steven Tyler

Animals are such agreeable friends – they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms. - George Eliot

Anybody can be a heart specialist. The only requirement is loving somebody. - Angie Papadakis 

Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography. - Robert Byrne

Anybody who isn’t pulling his weight is probably pushing his luck. - Franklin P. Jones

Anybody who thinks talk is cheap should get some legal advice.. - Franklin P. Jones

Anybody who’s walking on clouds is apt to be carried away. - Franklin P. Jones

Anyone who goes to see a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined. - Samuel Goldwyn

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.  - Mark Twain

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