Monday, 19 October 2015

Humorous Quotes

Life is a wonderful thing to talk about, or to read about in history books – but it is terrible when one has to live it. It is almost impossible to sleep for more than twelve hours a day, and the remaining twelve hours have to be filled in somehow. - Jean Anouilh

You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do. - Anne Lamott

When you are well and truly screwed, either you just sit pissing yourself or you invent some reason to hope. - James A. Gardner

There is absolutely nothing to be said in favour of growing old. There ought to be legislation against it. - Patrick Moore

Journalists do not believe the lies of politicians, but they do repeat them, which is even worse! - Michel Colucci

Women are like tricks by sleight of hand, which, to admire, we should not understand. - William Congreve

If God had wanted me otherwise, He would have created me otherwise. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Everybody pities the weak; jealousy you have to earn. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. - Unknown

Birthdays are like buses, never the number you want. - Unknown

I like being single, I’m always there when I need me. - Art Leo

Buy land, they're not making it anymore. - Mark Twain

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