Humorous Quotes

For Google+ readers, please click on the link for an easier read. 

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house. - Jean Kerr

The first time you buy a house you think how pretty it is and sign the check. The second time you look to see if the basement has termites. It's the same with men. - Lupe Velez

When you go into Court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve  people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. - Unknown

Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries. - Douglas Casey

Ever wonder why there is a stairway to heaven and a highway to hell? Apparently, there is more traffic going to hell. - Unknown

It's surprising how much wisdom every man possesses –  if not for his own affairs, then for the affairs of others. - Evan Esar

One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since you've become harmless. - Liz Smith

Life is like eating artichokes, you have got to go through so much to get so little. - Thomas Aloysius Dorgan

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. - Russian Proverb

There's power in looking silly and not caring that you do. - Amy Poehler

I have never been hurt by what I have not said. - Calvin Coolidge