Monday, 30 November 2015

Humorous Quotes

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Women have served all these centuries as looking-glasses possessing the magic and delicious power of reflecting the figure of man at twice its natural size. - Virginia Woofe

It doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full … Be grateful that you have a glass, and there is something in it. - Unknown

They’ve promised that dreams can come true – but forgot to mention that nightmares are dreams, too. - Oscar Wilde

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. - Will Rogers

When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets. - Unknown

Don’t explain computers to laymen. Simpler to explain sex to a virgin. - Robert A. Heinlein

Marriage is a bribe to make a housekeeper think she's a householder. - Thornton Wilder

You talk to God, you’re religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic. - Dr. Gregory House 

People can lose their lives in libraries. They ought to be warned. - Saul Bellow

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. - Unknown

Life’s a lot like beer, chill for best results. - Unknown

My life is one long blooper reel! - Tom Wilson

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