Humorous Quotes

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There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmas time. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them. - P.J. O'Rourke

I'll do whatever it takes to win games, whether it's sitting on a bench waving a towel, handing a cup of water to a teammate, or hitting the game-winning shot. - Kobe Bryant

No illusion is more crucial than the illusion that great success and huge money buy you immunity from the common ills of mankind, such as cars that won't start. - Larry McMurtry

There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is to enjoy earning it. - Edgar Watson Howe

I’m so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark. - Muhammad Ali

Winning is everything. The only ones who remember you when you come in second are your wife and your dog. - Damon Hill

I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me. - Humphrey Bogart

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man, then complain he’s not the man she married? - Barbra Streisand

The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning, you're on the job. - Slappy White

Until thirty we live through curiosity, after that out of sheer spite and bravado. - Abraham Miller

It is a nuisance that knowledge can only be acquired by hard work. - W. Somerset Maugham

Some men are so eager for success that they are even willing to work for it. - Evan Esar

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