Humorous Quotes

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We’re all capable of mistakes, but I do not care to enlighten you on the mistakes we may or may not have made. - Dan Quayle

Even the most staid and respectable husband likes for his wife to think he is a devil among the women. - Robert Elliot Gonzales

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand. - Mae West

I’m very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences. - Graham Parke

Lawyers are like rhinoceroses: thick skinned, short-sighted, and always ready to charge. - David Mellor

Dating is pressure and tension. What is a date, really, but a job interview that lasts all night. - Unknown

Families with babies, and families without babies, are so sorry for each other. - Edgar Watson Howe

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used to be. - Paul Valery

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once. - Phyllis Diller

Don’t marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. - Scottish Proverb

I am a better person when I have less on my plate. - Elizabeth Gilbert

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