Humorous Quotes

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He was of an impressible nature, and lived a great deal in other people’s opinions and feelings concerning himself. - George Eliot

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. - Jack Handey

A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. - Chauncey Mitchell Depew

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. - Oscar Wilde

Don't be conceited: even postage stamps become useless when they get stuck on themselves. - Evan Esar

If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to masturbate. - Diogenes the Cynic

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. So does not having health insurance. - Joe Hickman

Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life! - Unknown

Man may have discovered fire, but women discovered how to play with it. - Candace Bushnell

I always read my wife’s horoscope to see what kind of day I am going to have. - Unknown

For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat. - Unknown

Careful is a naked man climbing a barbwire fence. - Ken Alstad

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