Humorous Quotes

All the adversity I've had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me. You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. - Walt Disney

I am a master of logic and a powerfully convincing debater. In fact, against my better judgment, I can talk myself out of doing anything. - Jarod Kintz

First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. - Branch Rickey

Living with kids is like living in a frat house ... everything's broken, nobody sleeps, and there's a lot of throwing up. - Ray Romano

It's funny, don't you think, how time seems to do a lot of things? It flies, it tells, and worst of all, it runs out. - Markus Zusak

He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom. - P. G. Wodehouse

Don’t bite off more than you can chew because nobody looks attractive spitting it back out. - Carroll Bryant

A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist. - Franklin P. Jones

Change is not a four letter word…but often your reaction to it is! - Jeffrey Gitomer

Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labour. - John Ciardi

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it. - Mae West

Beer is prose. Wine is poetry. - Jenifer Rosen

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