Humorous Quotes

Men do communicate, often very directly, but women sometimes cannot accept how simple what we have to say is. We seldom play games – we aren't that sophisticated. - Chris Abani

No one should ever expect happiness from marriage. A few quiet moments, perhaps, if one is lucky...and an occasional day that doesn't incite you to murder. - Lili

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam. I looked into the soul of the boy next to me. - Woody Allen

In its purest form, dating is auditioning for mating (and auditioning means we may or may not get the part). - Joy Browne

It’s hard to understand why people who have enough time to play chess want to spend it playing chess. - Evan Esar

Marriage is just fancy word to adopt an over grown male child who is no more handled by his parents. - Unknown

A doctor is a man who writes prescriptions, till the patient either dies or is cured by nature. - John Taylor

No one ... appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as a dog does. - Christopher Morley

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? How many can you afford? - Blanche Knott

If you could read my mind you’d back away slowly then run for your life. - Unknown

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. - Mark Twain

Don't lend money to friends – it causes amnesia. - Unknown

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