Humorous Quotes

A Democrat is just like a baby. If it's hollering and making a lot of noise, there is nothing serious the matter with it. When it's quiet and doesn't pay much attention to anything, that's when it's really dangerous. - Will Rogers

One doesn’t generally look into mirrors when one is especially angry; one has better things to do, like pace the floor or throw things. - Robin McKinley

Dancing is the art of getting your feet out of the way faster than your partner can step on them. - Evan Esar

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. - Winston S. Churchill

If it wasn't for procrastination ... I'd have nothing to look forward to tomorrow. - Tom Wilson

No man is sane who does not know how to be insane on proper occasions. - Henry Ward Beecher

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway. - Joey Adams

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. - Redd Foxx

Money cannot buy health, but I’d settle for a diamond-studded wheelchair. - Dorothy Parker

It is much easier to burn men than to burn their opinions. - Charles Dickens

A girl with a good figure can often shape her own destiny. - Evan Esar

I get lost inside my mind. - Unknown

For more Humorous quotes click Here