Monday, 16 January 2017

Humorous Quotes

Marriage is for woman the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution. - Bertrand Russell

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? - Scott Adams

You can't always go by an expert opinion. A turkey, if you ask a turkey, should be stuffed with grasshoppers, grit and worms. - Unknown

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it just changes the colour of the baby. - Unknown

What do I do when I see someone extremely gorgeous? I stare, I smile and when I get tire … I put the mirror down. - Gaurav Sindana

A new study found that people who are depressed have a greater risk of stroke. Well that should cheer them up. - Jay Leno

There is no cure for baldness; the bald-headed barber is the proof. - American Proverb

The alternative to a vacation is to stay home and tip every third person you see. - Unknown

Writing books is the closest men ever come to childbearing. - Norman Mailer

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. - Oscar Wilde

In politics stupidity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Click Here for more humorous quotes, or Here for the book ‘Of Wit ‘n’ Humour’

No comments: