Humorous Quotes

Marriage is for woman the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution. - Bertrand Russell

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There’s no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? - Scott Adams

You can't always go by an expert opinion. A turkey, if you ask a turkey, should be stuffed with grasshoppers, grit and worms. - Unknown

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it just changes the colour of the baby. - Unknown

What do I do when I see someone extremely gorgeous? I stare, I smile and when I get tire … I put the mirror down. - Gaurav Sindana

A new study found that people who are depressed have a greater risk of stroke. Well that should cheer them up. - Jay Leno

There is no cure for baldness; the bald-headed barber is the proof. - American Proverb

The alternative to a vacation is to stay home and tip every third person you see. - Unknown

Writing books is the closest men ever come to childbearing. - Norman Mailer

I like men who have a future and women who have a past. - Oscar Wilde

In politics stupidity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

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