Humorous Quotes

Men are like chestnuts they sell in the street: they’re all hot and they all smell good when you buy them, but when you take them out of the paper cone you realise that most of them are rotten inside. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

Losing a mate to death is devastating but it's not a personal attack like divorce. When somebody you love stops loving you and walks away, it's an insult beyond comparison. - Sue Merrell

If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people. - Jarod Kintz

Ah, well, I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect. - Mark Twain

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead. - Albert Einstein

There is the view that poetry should improve your life. I think people confuse it with the Salvation Army. - John Ashbery

I don’t mind what Congress does, as long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses. - Victor Hugo

I don’t know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn’t. - Jules Renard

When money talks, nobody cares what kind of grammar it uses. - Robert Elliott Gonzales

Time wastes our bodies and our wits, but we waste time, so we are quits. - Unknown

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on. - Marilyn Monroe

The easiest way to get a divorce is to be married. - American Proverb

Click Here for more humorous quotes, or Here for the book ‘Of Wit ‘n’ Humour’