Monday, 31 July 2017

Humorous Quotes

Choose your friends by their character and your socks by their colour. Choosing your socks by their character makes no sense, and choosing your friends by their colour is unthinkable. - Unknown

They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they’d make up their minds. - Wilt Chamberlain

Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century. - Dame Edna Everage

The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his check book open. - Groucho Marx

I’m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. - Woody Allen

I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life; if I die next Tuesday. - Unknown

Every boy who has a dog should also have a mother, so the dog can be fed regularly. - Evan Esar

Lying is the most fun a woman can have without taking her clothes off. - Natalie Portman

It's awful knowing that one seventh of our life will be wasted on Mondays. - Unknown

You should learn from your parents’ mistakes – try using some birth control. - Unknown

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. - Anthony G. Oettinger

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. - Woody Allen

Click Here for more humorous quotes, or Here for the book ‘Of Wit ‘n’ Humour’

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