I think if prostitution is the oldest profession, gossip must be the oldest social past time. Let’s face it. The world will be very quiet indeed if people do not gossip. People would have nothing to say to each other, after talking the weather to death.
When we meet up with friends, what do we do? We talk about what is going on in our lives. And we inevitably ended up talking about other people as well – people who are associated with us – our mutual friends, colleagues, family etc. It is through this exchange of information that we are updated on the people, events, and things happening around us. If you are a senior, like me, you would also like to know who is still around and who has passed on, who has dementia, who has Parkinson, and who has been ravaged by Cancer... etc.but I digressed.
Generally, most gossips are just harmless digs at the expense of the people we know. There is no real malice intended. And that’s the way it should be.
Trouble comes when we say more than we should – like, when we pass sensitive, personal information that cause harm, hurt or embarrassment, or information that were meant for our ears only.
So, there are a couple of things to bear in mind when it comes to gossiping.
1. Never divulge sensitive information told to us in confidence.
2. Do not spread lies, half-truths and untruth when gossiping.
3. Always be mindful of other people’s feelings. If you are unsure whether you should make known certain facts to all and sundry, don’t. If you think that a particular gossip might annoy or cause embarrassment to someone, then, it is better to hold your tongue. But if it is something that is going to be common knowledge, then there is no harm in talking about it, although you might want to consider whether it will be better if that information comes from someone else.
4. There is one unbreakable rule in the gossip game. You must never betray your friends. No matter how juicy the gossip you have, no matter how you are dying to talk about it and get it out – don’t!
Gossip has its humanitarian side too. It enables us to keep track of each other. For example – Tom wouldn’t have visited Dick if Harry hadn’t told Tom that Dick had a stroke. A simple example, but you get the drift. And there are times when we feel awkward in saying something, but friends do that for you when you are not around. It saves you embarrassment.
However, bear in mind that whoever gossips to you will gossip about you. Therefore, observe how someone gossips to you. Does he/she just talk without reserve, or does he/she speak cautiously and generally. If people gossip to you without reserve, then you would want to be careful of what you tell them. Because, surely, they will gossip freely about you too. But if what they gossip about are mundane, general stuff and are tight-lipped about personal stuff, then they are people whom you can take into your confidence.
I guess gossiping is an art too. You will notice that some people talk a lot but do not reveal very much. And there are those you spill out everything in the minimum number of words.
I would be very careful of the latter. It would imply that they not only enjoy gossiping, they are very good at it, and they gossip without reserve.
So, I guess there is no harm in gossiping if we are mindful of what we share.
What do you think? Is it all right to gossip? Feel free to share your thoughts on the subject.
Gossip is like military intelligence, and it is strategically vital to have up to the minute reports on other people’s loyalties and antagonisms. Shutting your ears to gossip is all very noble until you discover to your cost that someone you thought was a friend has made a business alliance with an enemy and is dutifully feeding all your gossip into his computer. - Unknown
Nobody will keep the thing he hears to himself, and nobody will repeat just what he hears and no more. - Unknown
Doesn't matter what you do, or how you do it, your neighbours are going to talk about you anyway. - Felder Rushing
Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't. - Earl Wilson
It is easier to dam a river than to stop gossip. - Filipino Proverb
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