Humorous Quips

Have a good laugh from time to time. The burden of life is lightened when we laugh – sometimes at ourselves. A laugh at our own expense costs nothing. Besdes, the person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.

It's hard ... to hate a man who laughs at himself and the rest of the world. - Jo Clayton

Below are some humorous quips / witty comments. They are funny, but at the same time, there is a lot of truth in some of these quips. I hope they bring on a chuckle, or put a smile on your face.

Common sense is like deodorant. The people who need it most never use it. - Unknown

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her. - W.C. Fields

Beat the 5 o'clock rush – leave work at noon. - Unknown

One problem with being an expert on everything is that you cannot turn to anyone else for advice. - Gary W. Smith

An alcoholic is anyone you don’t like who drinks more than you do. - Dylan Thomas

Age is just a number, totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins

I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him? - Jerry Seinfeld

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you any worse advice. - Unknown

Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator. - Lemony Snicket

I’m gonna go take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it. - Unknown

Only in this world do we laugh: in hell, it won’t be possible; and in heaven, it won't be proper. - Jules Renard

I think age is a very high price to pay for maturity. - Tom Stoppard

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