Witty Truisms

Here are some humorous and witty quotes to start your week. They are funny, and at the same time, there is some truth in them. Keep a collection of the ones you like and go impress your friends with your wit and humour. You will find yourself very popular because we all like a witty person with a sense of humour.

May your days be filled with laughter.

If governments are involved in covering up the knowledge of aliens, then they are doing a much better job of it than they seem to do at anything else. - Stephen Hawking

A pat on the back, though only a few vertebrae removed from a kick in the pants, is miles ahead in results. - Bennett Cert

The quarrel is a very pretty quarrel as it stands; we should only spoil it by trying to explain it. - Richard B. Sheridan

If stock market experts were so expert, they would be buying stock, not selling advice. - Norman Augustine

You have to be careful about being too careful. - Beryl Pfizer

If you want to be found, stand where the seeker seeks. - Sidney Lanier

Anybody who’s walking on clouds is apt to be carried away. - Franklin P. Jones

If the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, you can bet the water bill is higher. - Unknown

A penny will hide the biggest star in the universe if you hold it close enough to your eye. - Samuel Grafton

When all is said and done, the weather and love are the two elements about which one can never be sure. - Alice Hoffman

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