Enjoy today’s selection of humour. You might want to remember the ones you like and share them with your friends. We all like to be around people with a good sense of humour, and people who can make us laugh. Be that someone to brighten up someone’s day; be that someone to make people laugh. You will be very popular.
May your days be filled with laughter.
I’ve come to look upon death the same way I look upon root-canal work. Everyone else seems to get through it all right, so it couldn’t be too difficult for me. - Joseph HellerIf a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her. - Unknown
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to Heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven. - Unknown
Girls do not dress for boys. They dress for themselves and, of course, each other. If girls dressed for boys they’d just walk around naked at all times. - Betsey Johnson
In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. - Robert Brault
I was depressed... I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian, and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss. - Woody Allen
How do those who contend that woman is the intellectual inferior of man account for the fact that she can give a man a piece of her mind 365 days in the year and still have a huge reserve supply? - Robert Elliot Gonzales
Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer. - Tom Robbins
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