Happy Lunar New Year

For those celebrating the Lunar New Year -

A Happy New Year to you! - The Year of the Dog!

Wishing you good health, peace and prosperity!

Humorous Quotes

Proverbs, Axioms, maxims, Aphorisms …

Only when all contribute their firewood can they build up a strong fire. - Chinese Proverb

No one is good at everything but everyone is good at something. - Unknown

One with the courage to laugh is master of the world. - Italian Proverb

Only in the darkness can you see the stars. - Martin Luther King Jr.

Only the sufferers know how their bellies ache. - Burmese Proverb

One who steals has no right to complain if he is robbed. - Aesop

Not everything you hear is good for talk. - Japanese Proverb

Constant dripping will wear away a stone. - Greek Proverb

Hold fast to the words of your ancestors. - Maori Proverb

Forethought is easy, repentance is hard. - Chinese Proverb

Even a sheet of paper has two sides. - Japanese Proverb

Be ever vigilant but never suspicious. - English Proverb

A little axe can cut down a big tree. - Jamaican Proverb

Empty sacks will never stand upright. - Italian Proverb

For news of the heart, ask the face. - Guinean Proverb

An old ox makes a straight furrow. - Spanish Proverb

Great chiefs prove their worthiness. - Seneca Proverb

A loving heart is the truest wisdom. - Charles Dickens

A man's got to do what a man's got to do. - Unknown

A fault confessed is half redressed. - English Proverb

A crown’s no cure for a headache. - English Proverb

No one is easy to live with all of the time. - Unknown

Nothing seems expensive on credit. - Czech Proverb

Give thy thoughts no tongue. - William Shakespeare

One hand washes the other. - Epicharmus

Humorous Questions

Can an atheist get insurance against Acts of God? - Unknown

Does ‘expect the unexpected’ make the ‘unexpected expected’? - Unknown

If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success? - Jerry Seinfeld

If a man’s wife is his better half, and he marries twice, what then becomes of him? - Unknown

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? - Unknown

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? - Unknown

If the police arrest a mute, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? - Unknown

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? - Unknown

Why are ‘overlook’ and ‘oversee’ opposites? - Unknown

Why are ‘wise man’ and ‘wise guy’ opposites? - Unknown

Why are they called ‘stands’ when they are made for sitting? - Unknown

Why do ‘tug’ boats push their barges? - Unknown

Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? - Unknown

Why do shops have signs that read: "GUIDE DOGS ONLY" when the dogs can't read and their owners are blind? - Unknown

Why does ‘fat chance’ and ‘slim chance’ mean the same thing? - Unknown

Why does ‘slow down’ and ‘slow up’ mean the same thing? - Unknown

Click Here for more humorous quotes, or Here for the book ‘Of Wit ‘n’ Humour’

Happiness - Quotes

I believe that happiness can be found. If I thought otherwise, I should be silent and not make unhappiness the more bitter by discussing it. - Karl Hilty

If one scheme of happiness fails, human nature turns to another; if the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better: we find comfort somewhere. - Jane Austen

Happiness is a gift and the trick is not to expect it, but to delight in it when it comes. - Charles Dickens

If you would have your home and your surroundings happy, be happy. You can transform everything around you if you will transform yourself. - James Allen

In short, the world abounds with simple delusions which we may call ‘happiness’, if we be but able to entertain them. - H. P. Lovecraft

It is good sometimes that the happy of this world should learn, were it only to humble their foolish pride for an instant, that there are higher, wider, and rarer joys than theirs. - Charles Baudelaire

Happiness is like your shadow. Run after it and you will never catch it, but keep your face to the sun and it will follow you. - Croft M. Pentz

It is well to have as many holds upon happiness as possible. - Jane Austen

Make cheer from your own heart, for the sun rises and sets according to your perspective on the universe. - Brian Herbert & Kevin J. Anderson

Maybe that was the secret of happiness – not expecting any one thing to last forever. - Barbara O’Neal

Happiness is the harvest of a quiet eye. - Austin O’Malley

Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence. - Aristotle

More on Happiness Here
The book The Pursuit of Happiness

Quote Worthy

We are all mistaken sometimes; sometimes we do wrong things, things that have bad consequences. But it does not mean we are evil, or that we cannot be trusted ever afterward. - Alison Croggon

Many times, what we perceive as an error or failure is actually a gift. And eventually we find that lessons learned from that discouraging experience prove to be of great worth. - Richelle E. Goodrich

If you ever want your soul to dance in the clouds, you will at some point have to juggle lightning and taste the thunder. - Christopher poindexter

Sometimes the biggest mistake we make in life is letting people stay in our lives far longer than they deserve to. - Unknown

Stars are like friends; there’s always some around, you just need to find your favourite one. - Jessie

Ideally, I’d like to be the eternal novice, for then only the surprises would be endless. - Keith Jarrett

It is at all times more easy to make enemies than friends. - George Washington

As one grows older, one becomes wiser and more foolish. - François de la Rochefoucauld

Better freedom with a crust, than slavery with every luxury. - Christian Nestell Bovee

Necessity may be mother of invention, but fun is the father. - Alex Osborn

Your fate is to be yourself, both punishment and crime. - Jane Hirshefield

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. - Thomas Edison

More Quotes Here - And the book Quote Worthy

 

Trivia

I cannot guarantee the accuracy of all the points. :-)

One out of 20 people have an extra rib.

One ragweed plant can release as many as one billion grains of pollen.

Our body gives enough heat in 30 minutes to boil 1.5 liters of water. 

Our brain uses the same amount of power as a 10-watt light bulb. 

Papua New Guinea (Ethnic groups: Melanesian, Papuan, Negrito, Micronesian, Polynesian) has the largest number of spoken languages (850 languages circa 2015). 

Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn't smoke unless it's heated above 450F. 

Pearls dissolve in vinegar. 

People who laugh a lot are healthier than those who don't. 

Putting dry tea bags in gym bags or smelly shoes will absorb the unpleasant odor. 

Right-handed people tend to chew food on their right side. 

Samhainophobia is the the fear of Halloween. 

Scallops have up to 100 eyes around the edge of their mantles. 

The tip of a bullwhip moves so fast that it breaks the sound barrier. The crack of the whip is actually a tiny sonic boom. 

Sleeping without a pillow reduces back pain and keeps your spine stronger. 

Slugs have four noses. 

Soldiers do not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock the bridge down. 

Starfish have no brains. A starfish doesn't have a brain in its head like we do. Instead its entire nervous system acts like a distributed brain. 

Take a 10-30 minute walk every day and while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate antidepressant. 

More Trivia HERE

Humorous Quotes

Divorce is simply modern society's version of medieval torture. Except it lasts longer and leaves deeper scars. A divorce releases the most primitive emotions; the ugliest, raw feelings. Emotionally wounded people do their best to inflict pain upon the other party, but rather than using claws they use divorce lawyers. - William Shatner

Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods. - Christopher Hitchens

In my vast experience, I’ve found it always wiser to go along with female advice … First, you make them happy by doing what they tell you. That’s the main thing. Let them think they’re in control. They love it. Then, if it turns out they were right, everything’s cool. If it turns out they were wrong ... then you have the pleasure of basking in the glow of superiority. - Richard Laymon

It is a peculiarity of knitters that they chronically underestimate the amount of time it takes to knit something. Birthday on Saturday? No problem. Socks are small. Never mind that the average sock knit out of sock-weight yarn contains about 17,000 stitches. Never mind that you need two of them. (That’s 34,000 stitches, for anybody keeping track.) Socks are only physically small. By stitch count, they are immense. - Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

One of the strengths of Internet dating is that it’s anonymously impersonal, which helps take the sting out of rejection. If you're interested in someone who notices your profile or you're intrigued by a computer-generated match, let the e-mail begin. If you're not interested, delete the e-mail with about the same level of remorse you'd feel from dumping jellyfish overboard. - Judsen Culbreth

Click Here for more humorous quotes, or Here for the book ‘Of Wit ‘n’ Humour’

Love

Wail not too wildly for expiring Love: The Love that dies was never quite alive. - Richard Garnett

What is love? To be delighted by the happiness of another. - Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz

When there is love in the heart, there are rainbows in the eyes, which cover every black cloud with gorgeous hues. - Henry Ward Beecher

When you love someone, you have to let them go. It's the only way to keep them. - Macrina Wiederkehr

You don't need scores of suitors. You need only one ... if he's the right one. - Louisa May Alcott

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. - Dr. Seuss

The more I think about it, the more I realize there is nothing more artistic than to love others. - Vincent van Gogh

Some people will only love you as long as you fit in their box. Don't be afraid to disappoint. - Unknown

Love speaks a language most sublime, its idioms known in every clime. - Ardelia Cotton Barton

Love's wing moults when caged and captured, only free, he soars enraptured. - Thomas Campbell

Love for those too easily won does not last long. - Roman Proverb

It is easy to halve the potato where there's love. - Irish Proverb

More on Love Here, and the book The Light of Love

Quote Worthy

Wise men profit more from fools than fools from wise men; for the wise men shun the mistakes of fools, but fools do not imitate the successes of the wise. - Cato the Elder

No amount of sophistication is going to allay the fact that all your knowledge is about the past and all your decisions are about the future. - Ian Wilson

Times of darkness are actually our greatest teacher, because that’s when we really begin to search for the light and listen to our heart. - Daniel Nielsen

We all live in suspense, from day to day, from hour to hour; in other words, we are the hero of our own story. - Mary McCarthy

The production of too many useful things results in too many useless people. - Karl Marx

The love of liberty is the love of others; the love of power is the love of ourselves. - William Hazlitt

Whatever one man is capable of conceiving, other men will be able to achieve. - Jules Verne

Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance. - Ruth E. Renkel

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. - Theodore Roosevelt

Don’t waste sunsets with people who will be gone by sunrise. - Unknown

Never give an order that can’t be obeyed. - General Douglas MacArthur

Those who do not move, do not notice their chains. - Rosa Luxemburg

More Quotes Here - And the book Quote Worthy