Boss: What’s the idea of calling in sick yesterday?
Employee: I was sick.
Boss: You didn’t look sick when I saw you at the racetrack.
Employee: You should have seen me after the sixth race.
Parent: What is your son doing these days?
Neighbour: He is at medical school.
Parent: Oh, what is he studying?
Neighbour: Nothing, they are studying him.
The psychiatrist ask his patient what he is writing.
Patient: A letter.
Psychiatrist: To whom?
Patient: To me
Psychiatrist: What are you writing to yourself?
Patient: I don’t know, I haven’t received it yet.
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have twenty four hours to live.
Patient: Twenty four hours! That’s terrible! What could be worse? What’s the very bad news?
Doctor: I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.