Monday, 16 December 2013

Glorious Insults

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. Some of them, anyway.

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He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody. - Joseph Heller

He was like the cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow. - George Eliot

He was not merely a chip off the old block, but the old block itself. - Edmund Burke

He'd be sharper than a serpent's tooth, if he wasn't as dull as ditch water. - Charles Dickens

He’s turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he’s miserable and depressed. - David Frost

Her only flair is in her nostrils. - Pauline Kael

He's big as a gorilla and strong as a gorilla. Now, if he was smart as a gorilla, he’d be fine. - Unknown

His acrid words Turn the sweet milk of kindness into curds. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

His designs were strictly honourable, as the phrase is; that is, to rob a lady of her fortune by way of marriage. - Henry Fielding

His enemies might have said before that he talked rather too much; but now he has occasional flashes of silence, that make his conversation perfectly delightful. - Sydney Smith

His ignorance covered the whole earth like a blanket, and there was hardly a hole in it anywhere. - Mark Twain

I am only responsible for what I say not for what you understand. - Unknown

I can’t criticize what I don’t understand. If you want to call this art, you’ve got the benefit of all my doubts. - Charles Rosin

I cannot speak well enough to be unintelligible. - Jane Austen

I could dance with you 'til the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows when you came home. - Unknown

I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal. - Jane Austen

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