Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, as well as simply, or profoundly true.

Don't refuse to go on an occasional wild goose chase. That's what wild geese are for. - Unknown

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. - Robert Charles Benchley

Dress simply. If you wear a dinner jacket, don't wear anything else on it . . . like lunch or dinner. - George Burns

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established. - George Carlin

Each twenty four hours, the world turns over on someone who was sitting on top of it. - Sir Hugh Percy Allen

Economy is going without something you do want in case you should, someday, want something you probably won’t want. - Anthony Hope

Electricity is really just organized lightning. - George Carlin

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. - Scott Adams

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent. - Laurence Peter

Even the best of friends cannot attend each other’s funeral. - Kehlog Albran

Ever notice that people never say "It's only a game" when they're winning? - Ivern Ball

Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them? - Unknown

Every man has one thing he can do better than anyone else and usually it’s reading his own handwriting. - G. Norman Collie

Every man is surrounded by a neighbourhood of voluntary spies. - Jane Austen

What is Heaven? - What is Hell?

One day, a samurai named Nobushige set out to find Hakuin, an old Zen monk who was known to be very wise. When he arrived at the monastery, he flung open the door and demanded of the old man, "Tell me, you are learned in these matters. What is heaven and what is hell?"

Hakuin sat still for a moment on the tatami-matted floor. Then he turned and looked up at the warrior. "You call yourself a samurai warrior," he said. "Why, look at you. You're nothing but a mere sliver of a man! I doubt you could cut off the head of a fly with your sword."

For a moment, Nobushige stood gaping. No one talked to a samurai like that! Then, as if someone had waved a red cloth in front of a bull, his face contorted in rage. He bellowed, "How dare you! I won't let you get away with such an insult." Pulling his huge sword from its sheath, he raised it high above his head, ready to kill the old monk.

Unperturbed, Hakuin looked directly into the eyes of the furious warrior and said, "You asked what hell is. *This* is hell."

Nobushige froze, his sword still raised, as the hatred and anger that had consumed him drained away. He looked at the old monk in amazement, realizing that this small, stooped man had risked his life to answer his question.

Lowering his weapon, Nobushige bowed to the monk, as tears appeared in his eyes. "Thank you for your teaching," the samurai said humbly, his heart filled with gratitude for the monk's gift.

Hakuin smiled at the samurai and said, "And this, my friend, is heaven.

Quote Worthy

When you try to understand everything, you will not understand anything. The best way is to understand yourself, and then you will understand everything. - Unknown

I find it fascinating that most people plan their vacations with better care than they do their lives. Perhaps that is because escape is easier than change. - Jim Rohn

Just because the past didn’t turn out like you wanted it to, doesn’t mean your future can’t be better than you ever imagined. - Unknown

Live without pretending, love without depending, listen without defending, speak without offending. - Unknown

When you have a number of disagreeable duties to perform, always do the most disagreeable first. - Josiah Quincy

Let everyone sweep in front of his own door, and the whole world will be clean. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Whatever you do may seem insignificant, but it is very important that you do it. - Mahatma Gandhi

Arguing with a fool only proves that there are two. - Unknown

Some people find fault like there is a reward for it. - Unknown

Indecision is often worse than wrong action. - Henry Ford

Be slow of tongue and quick of eye. - Miguel de Cervantes

You can't regret what you can't remember. - Lisa Birnbach

‘The Chaos’ by Gerard Nolst Trenité (1870 – 1946)

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

‘The Chaos’ by Gerard Nolst Trenite (1870 – 1946)

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhymes with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough?

Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.

My advice is give it up!

Quote Worthy

Our life and happiness are not dependent upon any single situation or person. We don’t have to have everything our way. We don’t need to be loved by everyone. The world doesn’t end if we are rejected. - Leo Buscaglia

Get over the idea that only children should spend their time in study. Be a student so long as you still have something to learn, and this will mean all your life. - Unknown

Praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow come and go like the wind. To be happy, rest like a gain tree in the midst of them all. - Buddha

Living the dream isn’t about amassing wealth or going on fancy trips. It’s about sharing what’s alive in your heart with the world. - Molly Hahn

Every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. - Maya Angelou

If you can’t figure out where you stand with someone, it might be time to stop standing and start walking. - Unknown

If your presence can’t add value to my life, your absence will make no difference. - Unknown

All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward. - Unknown

Hunger is the best sauce in the world. - Miguel de Cervantes

The hour which gives us life begins to take it away. - Seneca

A humble birth is no hindrance to greatness. - David McKay

Where hope grows, miracles bloom. - Elna Rae

Food For Thought

Stop worrying about what may never happen, and focus on what you want to happen in your life. Everything will fall into place eventually. Have faith and know things work out, maybe not how you planned, but just how they’re meant to. Just live and embrace every single moment, and know it’s all worthwhile. - Babz

When it comes down to it, you can like a face or a body, but you don’t fall in love with it. You fall in love with the mind. The way a person thinks, the way a person talks. Beauty attract people, but your thoughts are what’s going to make them stay. - Unknown

Your best stories will come from your struggles. The seeds of your successes are in your failures. Your praises will be birthed from your pains. Keep standing. I have never seen a storm last forever. Be encouraged! - Unknown

Quote Worthy

One has to wait without impatience for what should come, and yet at the same time do everything within one’s power as though one were impatient and as though one were solely responsible. - Rodney Collin

Our very business in life is not to get ahead of others, but to get ahead of ourselves; It is not to see what lies dimly in the distance but to do what lies clearly at hand. - Unknown

You can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things : a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. - Maya Angelou

Don’t underestimate me. I know more than I say, think more than I speak, notice more than you realize. - Unknown

Knowledge is learning something every day. Wisdom is letting go of something every day. - Lao Tsu

A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others. - Ayn Rand

Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesn’t happen again. - Unknown

Sometimes, you have to sit back and see how perfect it all really is. - Shari Alyse

As long as you're breathing, it's never too late to do some good. - Maya Angelou

Every day may not be good, but there’s something good in every day. - Unknown

Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer give a damn. - Unknown

It’s not the load that wears you down, it’s the way you carry it. - Lena Horne

Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, as well as simply, or profoundly true.

Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work. - Laurence Peter

Consultants are people who borrow your watch and tell you what time it is, and then walk off with the watch. - Robert Townsend

Cover that bosom that I must not see: souls are wounded by such things. - Jean Baptiste Moliere

Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is. - Charles Schulz

Democracy is a device that insures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. - George Bernard Shaw

Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the person who will get the blame. - Laurence Peter

Did nothing in particular, and did it very well. - William S. Gilbert

Diplomacy is to do and say the nastiest things in the nicest way. - Isaac Goldberg

Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it. - Tom Lehrer

Ditty

Don’t itch for things you’re not willing to scratch for. - Unknown

Don’t knock it, it’s sex with someone you love. - Woody Allen of masturbation

Don’t knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

Don’t put too fine a point to your wit for fear it should get blunted. - Miguel de Cervantes

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia. - Charles Schulz

Don’t worry what people think. They don’t do it very often. - Unknown

How To Clean Your Liver With 5 Natural Liver-Cleansing Tips

Your liver is like the maid of your body, cleaning up all the toxins you put into it, and therefore keeping all internal systems running smoothly. the modern diet, environmental pollutants, and our increasing dependence on toxic personal care products have put our livers on serious overtime.

For this reason, it's important to know how to clean your liver thoroughly and effectively - on, and naturally.

http://www.whydontyoutrythis.com/2013/05/how-to-clean-your-liver-with-5-natural-liver-cleansing-tips.html

Quote Worthy

Do not worry about holding high position or ask for high acclaim; worry rather about playing your proper role as an individual. Worry not that no one knows of you; seek to be worth knowing instead. - Unknown

Men in Great Places are thrice Servants: Servants of the Sovereign or State; Servants of Fame and Servants of Business… It is a strange desire to seek Power and to lose Liberty. - Francis Bacon

What you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life. - Anthony Robbins

When someone is going through a storm, your silent presence is more powerful than a million empty words. - Unknown

Those who prepared for all the emergencies of life beforehand may equip themselves at the expense of joy. - E.M.Forster

When the winds of change blow, some people build walls and others build windmills. - Chinese Proverb

If a man take no thought about what is distant, he will find sorrow near at hand. - Confucius

If you don't know what you're here to do, then just do some good. - Maya Angelou

Speak not of my debts unless you mean to pay them. - English Proverb

Have faith. What is meant to be will always find it’s way. - Unknown

Every Saint has a past and every sinner has a future. - Oscar Wilde

Aspire to Inspire before you Expire. - Unknown

A Parable

Once a group of 500 people were attending a seminar. Suddenly the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity. He started giving each person a balloon. Each person was then asked to write their name on it using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.

The people were then let into that room and asked to find the balloon which had their name written on it within 5 minutes. Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, pushing around others,  and there was utter chaos.

At the end of 5 minutes no one could find their own balloon. Then, the speaker asked each person to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name was written on it. Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.

The speaker then began, "This is happening in our lives. Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is.

Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness; you will get your own happiness. And this is the purpose of human life...the pursuit of happiness."

Quote Worthy

You cannot be feeling positive and negative at the same time. Therefore, you should make sure that the one which stays in your mind is the one that will benefit you. - Unknown

When once you have tasted flight you will always walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward: for there you have been and there you will always be. - Henry Van Dyke

It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dreams of yesterday are the hopes of today, and the realities of tomorrow. - Unknown

Meat, if not properly digested, becomes poison; But poison, if used rightly, may turn medicinal. - Saskya Pandita

To observations which we ourselves make, we grow more partial for th' observer's sake. - Alexander Pope

Because you are not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who, in truth, you are. - Madeline L'Engle

Small minds discuss people, average minds discuss events, great minds discuss ideas. - Unknown

It is the superfluous things for which men sweat. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

There is a good side to every situation. - David Joseph Schwartz

If you wait, all that happens is you get older. - Larry Mcmurtry 

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. - Unknown

We fail far more often by timidity than by over-daring. - Unknown

Spiritual - Quotes

All things arise from Tao. They are nourished by virtue. They are formed from matter. They are shaped by environment. Respect of Tao and honour of virtue are not demanded, but they are in the nature of things. By virtue they are nourished, developed, cared for, sheltered, comforted, grown, and protected. Creating without claiming, doing without taking credit, guiding without interfering. This is primal virtue. - Tao Te Ching

Your work is not to drag the world kicking and screaming into a new awareness. Your job is to simply do your work … sacredly, secretly, and silently ... and those with ‘eyes to see and ears to hear’, will respond. - The Ardurians

Moving one step towards finding the answer to the question, Who Am I?, we brought consciousness from outside to inside. - Acharya Mahaprajna

Desires and expectations are the sources of disappointment. Don’t cling to them. Do your work, walk your way. - Zen saying

Be mindful of your Self-talk. It’s a conversation with the Universe. - David James Lees

Quote Worthy

The law of harvest is to reap more than you sow. Sow an act, and you reap a habit. Sow a habit and you reap a character. Sow a character and you reap a destiny. - James Allen

When you create something new, you are bound to cause some form of controversy. Hence, when you fear controversy, you will not be a great innovator. - Unknown

We can all learn something from the parrot, which is content to repeat what it hears without trying to make a good story out of it. - Unknown

If egotism means a terrific interest in one’s self, egotism is absolutely essential to efficient living. - Arnold Bennett

Even if all you can do is crawl across the floor, it is better than just sitting there doing nothing. - Unknown

We dance round in a ring and suppose, but the Secret sits in the middle and knows. - Robert Frost

In a balanced organization, working towards a common objective, there is success. - Arthur Helps

Maybe you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light. - Unknown

A man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder. - Thomas Carlyle

Variety’s the very spice of life, that gives all its flavour. - William Cowper

A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. - Samuel Goldwyn

Like Weather, one’s fortune may change by the evening. - Unknown

Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironic, as well as simply, or profoundly true.

Boys, I have been rich and I have been poor, and believe me being rich is better. - Joe E. Lewis

Burglars, judging by our statistics, define opportunity as an unoccupied, unlocked house stocked with portable television sets. - Gerald Cvetko

Business was his aversion; pleasure was his business. - Anon

But when I don’t smoke I scarcely feel as if I’m living. I don’t feel as if I’m living unless I’m killing myself. - Russell Hoban

By all means marry; if you get a good wife you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one you’ll become a philosopher. - Socrates

By common consent gray hairs are a crown of glory; the only object of respect that can never excite envy. - George Bancroft

By the time you find out what makes the world goes round, you are too dizzy to care. - Unknown

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work 12 hours a day. - Robert Frost

Chain letters are the postal equivalent of intestinal flu: you get it and pass it along to your friends. - Bob Garfield

Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully. - Graham Greene

Changing husbands is only changing troubles. - Kathleen Norris

Cheer up! The worst is yet to come! - Philander Johnson

Chemists employed by the police can do remarkable things with blood. They can find it in shreds of cloth, in the interstices of floor boards, on the iron of a heel, and can measure it and swear to it and weave it into a rope to hang a man. - Margery Allingham

Comfort zones are plush lined coffins. When you stay in your plush lined coffins, you die. - Stan Dale

How To Clean Your Arteries With One Simple Fruit

The future of cardiovascular disease prevention and treatment will not be found in your medicine cabinet, rather in your kitchen cupboard or in your back yard growing on a tree. 

Click on the link to read all about it.

http://www.whydontyoutrythis.com/2013/10/how-to-clean-your-arteries-with-one-simple-fruit.html

Quote Worthy

The highest good for man is the desire to do good. The particulars of that good, in words or terms, are not important, for no human concept of good can embrace the perfection and absolute good of Being. - Validivar 

The one important thing I have learned over the years is the difference between taking one’s work seriously and taking one’s self seriously. The first is imperative, and the second is disastrous. - Unknown

Having harvested all the knowledge and wisdom we can from our mistakes and failures, we should put them behind us and go ahead. - Unknown

Balance is the perfect state of still water. Let that be our model. It remains quiet within and is not disturbed on the surface. - Confucius

There is no such thing as chance or accident; the words merely signify our ignorance of some real and immediate cause. - Adam Clarke

The vile are ever prone to detect the faults of others, and persistently shut their eyes against their own. - Unknown

You judge yourself by what you think you can achieve, others judge you by what have achieved. - Confucius

Infatuation, like the common cold, must run its course. - Unknown

The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack. - Unknown

Every new adjustment is a crisis in self-esteem. - Eric Hoffer

Zeal without knowledge is fire without light. - Thomas Fuller

He who multiplies riches multiplies cares. - Benjamin Franklin

A Dedicated Farmer

Chris, an enthusiastic farmer at Apricot Lane Farms in Moorpark, California, was born without arms or legs. Despite the challenges he faces, Chris remains independent and hardworking, even operating a tractor with ease.

http://www.wimp.com/dedicatedfarmer/

Video courtesy of www.wimp.com

Quote Worthy

And above all things, never think that you’re not good enough yourself. A man should never think that. My belief is that in life people will take you at your own reckoning. - Isaac Asimov

If you have any notion of your indispensability, take a history book and read it. There are plenty of indispensable people recorded there – and they are all dead! - Unknown

If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainties. - Francis Bacon

Knowing when to walk away, is wisdom. Being able to, is courage. Walking away with your head held high is dignity. - Unknown

The world is full of could-have-beens. A could-have-been is worse than a has-been. At least the has-been was ‘there’ once. - Unknown

Until input (thought) is linked to a goal (purpose) there can be no intelligent accomplishment. - Paul G. Thomas

Never less idle than when free from work, nor less alone than when completely alone. - Marcus Tullius Cicero

Hungry rooster don’t cackle when he find a worm. - Joel Chandler Harris

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mystery. - Albert Einstein

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. - Eleanor Roosevelt  

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in. - Unknown

Nostalgia is recalling the fun without reliving the pain. - Unknown

Quote Worthy

Continue to practise even when you are good at your work. Even the most skilful sportsman practices hard before each tournament. The hallmark of a true professional is continuous learning and practice. - Unknown

A person is neither whole nor healthy without the memories of photo albums. They are the storybook of our lives. They provide a nostalgic escape from the tormented days of the present. - Patrick Garry

Sometimes, when you are forced to think very hard and make a choice, you learn a great deal about the kind of person you are. - Unknown

Better be despised for too anxious apprehensions, than ruined by too confident security. - Edmund Burke

Our business in life is not to get ahead of others, but to get ahead of ourselves. - E. Joseph Cossman

What has always made a hell on earth is that man has tried to make it his heaven. - Unknown

It seems there is something about anonymity which brings out the worst in us. - Pat Sajak

There can be no progress, no achievement without sacrifice. - James Allen

Put away sorrow like a shoe that is worn out and muddy. - J. M. Synge

[Of ghost] All argument is against it; but all belief is for it. - Samuel Johnson

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done. - Unknown

Put passion, zeal, and enthusiasm into everything you do. - Unknown

Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironic, as well as simply, or profoundly true.

Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art. - Unknown

Before I begin speaking, there is something I would like to say. - Saul Gorn

Before marriage, a man will lay down his life for you; after marriage he won’t even lay down his newspaper. - Helen Rowland

Before we work on artificial intelligence why don’t we do something about natural stupidity? - Steve Polyak

Before you let yourself go, be sure you can get yourself back. - Dr. Roger Michael Ashley Allen

Before you meet the handsome prince you really have to kiss a lot of toads. - Unknown

Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you. - Erma Bombeck

Being born is like being kidnapped. And then sold into slavery. - William Shakespeare

Being in your own business is working 80 hours a week so that you can avoid working 40 hours a week for someone else. - Ramona E. F. Arnett

Being over seventy is like being engaged in a war. All our friends are going or gone and we survive amongst the dead and the dying as on a battlefield. - St. Jerome

Birthdays are good for you; the more you have, the longer you live. - Unknown

Born again?! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time. - Woody Allen 

Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute. - Gil Stern

Boys will be boys - And even that wouldn’t matter if we could only prevent girls from being girls. - Anthony Hope

7 ‘Useless’ Body Parts, Explained

Finally, the truth about why you have nipples and armpit hair

By Rachel Schultz

Every day, people have their tonsils, appendix, and wisdom teeth removed—and after the pain subsides, they proceed without a hitch. The truth is, it's not all that apparent why many parts of your body are there, or what they actually do. 

“Evolution moves toward features that are advantageous over others, so at some point all anatomical features were important to our early ancestors,” says Anthony Weinhaus, Ph.D., director of the University of Minnesota’s Human Anatomy program. Some of these still serve a purpose—just not necessarily a function crucial to our survival anymore. Here are real explanations for these seven seemingly pointless body parts.

1. Nipples

Let’s get the biggest news out of the way: All men start off as women. “All embryos begin female, and if it masculinizes, it becomes male but keeps much of the same anatomy,” says Weinhaus. Nipples are the same in men and women, but without an influx of hormones like estrogen, they're simply chest ornaments on men.

2. Armpit Hair

There’s no definitive story for underarm hair, but its location offers a clue. There are two types of sweat glands in your body: eccrine and apocrine, the latter of which are mostly in your armpits, explains Daniel Lieberman, Ph.D., professor of human evolutionary biology at Harvard University. You use apocrine for sexual signaling. Presumably, the hair holds on to the secreted odors so they'll stay around long enough for a potential mate to catch a whiff, he explains.

3. Eyebrows

The evolutionary purpose of eyebrows is debatable: In one camp, scientists believe brows keep sweat and rain off your eyes, which would help in primitive hunting and navigation. Lieberman favors the hypothesis that eyebrows serve to communicate your emotions, but they may also communicate your identity: Behavioral neuroscientists from Massachusetts Institute of Technology found that people were less likely to recognize pictures of celebrities without their eyebrows than without their eyes. The researchers speculate that eyebrows have remained because they’re crucial to identifying faces and navigating social circumstances.

4. Appendix

The appendix is a vestigial organ, which means it has lost most of its ancestral function. “One idea is the human appendix is remnant of what used to be a larger fermenting chamber in our gut,” Lieberman says. Since humans stopped eating uncooked or low-quality foods like grass, this chamber is no longer useful. Recent research, though, suggests the appendix might be an essential hangout spot for healthy bacteria. “Your microbiome is very important to digestive tract function, so this reservoir would allow microbes to recolonize your gut after inflammation or digestive issues,” he explains.

5. Tonsils

Tonsils are technically lymph nodes—part of the lymphatic system, which is vital to your immunity. “Your oral cavity is an entryway to your body, so immune cells in your throat can help you fight respiratory infections,” Lieberman explains. Sometimes your tonsils get inflamed and infected, which is when they're removed. Your lymph nodes are incredibly important, but there's some redundancy, so if a pair is taken away, you can survive without them, Lieberman adds.

6. Wisdom Teeth

Like monkeys, men have three permanent sets of molars. Until recently, wisdom teeth were never an issue for humans: “Teeth don’t change size. They’re grown before you use them, and then they erupt to the surface,” says Lieberman. Jaws are bone and, like the rest of your body, need to be supported and used in order to grow properly. Since humans now eat soft, cooked foods as children, our jaws don’t grow to the full capacity. This leaves inadequate space for all your molars, so your wisdom teeth grow in crooked and need to be pulled.

7. Foreskin

Male foreskin takes years to separate from the glans (head), which is unusual enough of a process to suggest one if its main functions may help prevent infection, especially in infants. It helps shield the opening of the urethra from any contaminates or bacteria, explains Weinhaus. It also protects your reproductive chances: Without a foreskin, the glans rubs against objects, like your clothes, and develops a thick layer of skin to desensitize itself, Weinhaus says. Foreskin keeps men more sexually sensitive, which would’ve encouraged our ancestors to reproduce more.

http://www.menshealth.com/health/useless-body-parts?cm_mmc=Facebook-_-MensHealth-_-Content-Health-_-UselessBodyParts 

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To know how to say what other people only think, is what makes poets and sages; and to dare to say what others only dare to think, makes men martyrs or reformers. - Elizabeth Rundle Charles

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Expectations are dynamic benchmarks by which others judge performance, quality and relationships. - Unknown

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The key to heaven’s gate cannot be duplicated. - Doug Horton

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