Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironic, as well as simply, or profoundly true.

Are you sure you are right, or are you just being stubborn? - Unknown

Arguments about Scripture achieve nothing but a stomach ache and a headache. - Tertullian

Art feeds the soul, and art sales feed the Artist. - Unknown

As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn’t. - Laurence Peter

As a novelist, I tell stories and people give me money. Then financial planners tell me stories and I give them money. - Martin Cruz Smith

As for death one gets used to it, even if it's only other people's death you get used to. - Enid Bagnold

As idle as a painted ship Upon a painted ocean. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge Source: The Ancient Mariner. Part ii.

As long as you keep getting born, it’s alright to die some times. - Orson Scott Card

As our life is very short, so it is very miserable and therefore it is well it is short. - Bishop Jeremy Taylor

As savage as a bear with a sore head. - Frederick Marryat

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

Autobiography is probably the most respectable form of lying. - Humphrey Carpenter

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain

Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath. - Michael Caine

Be open-minded, but not so open-minded that your brains fall out. - Unknown