Monday, 30 June 2014

Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, as well as simply, or profoundly true.

Don't refuse to go on an occasional wild goose chase. That's what wild geese are for. - Unknown

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. - Robert Charles Benchley

Dress simply. If you wear a dinner jacket, don't wear anything else on it . . . like lunch or dinner. - George Burns

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.
- George Carlin

Each twenty four hours, the world turns over on someone who was sitting on top of it. - Sir Hugh Percy Allen

Economy is going without something you do want in case you should, someday, want something you probably won’t want. - Anthony Hope

Electricity is really just organized lightning. - George Carlin

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems. - Scott Adams

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent. - Laurence Peter

Even the best of friends cannot attend each others funeral. - Kehlog Albran

Ever notice that people never say "It's only a game" when they're winning? - Ivern Ball

Ever notice that the people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them? - Unknown

Every man has one thing he can do better than anyone else and usually it’s reading his own handwriting. - G. Norman Collie

Every man is surrounded by a neighbourhood of voluntary spies. - Jane Austen

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