Paraprosdokians

If you need a shoulder to cry on, pull off to the side of the road. - Unknown

Life was much easier when Apple and Blackberry were just fruits. - Unknown

My mum said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed! - Unknown

Never judge a book by its movie. - Unknown

No sense being pessimistic … it wouldn’t work anyway. - John Robb

Reading can seriously damage your ignorance. - Unknown

Someday you’ll go far. Please stay there. - Unknown

The world would be a much nicer place if everyone took a chill pill. It would be even better if some of them choked on it. - Unknown

Wine is a bad thing. It makes you quarrel with your neighbour, it makes you shoot at your landlord, it makes you – miss him. - Ossip Gabrilowitsch

Writing is easy. All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until the drops of blood form on  your forehead. - Gene Fowler

You never appreciate what you have till it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example. - Unknown