Enjoy this selection of quips. And may your weekend be filled with laughter.
Alcohol does not solve problems, but then again, neither does milk. - Unknown
If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married, you can’t even change the TV channel. - Unknown
As long as there are birthday Gifts, I don’t mind celebrating my birthdays every day. - Unknown
Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance. - Phyllis Diller
People have an annoying habit of remembering things they shouldn’t. - Christopher Paolini
Hold your wife’s hand in the mall because if you let go, she’ll start shopping. It looks romantic but it’s actually economic. - Unknown
Age is just a number, totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins
Congress would give the people what they wanted if the people knew what they wanted, and if Congress could give it to them. - Evan Esar
People seldom notice old clothes if you wear a big smile. - Lee Mildon
Before I was married, I had a hundred theories about raising children and no children. Now, I have three children and no theories. - John Wilmot
Pretending to care what men think is an art. It takes moments to learn, but lifetimes to master. I’d like to believe I’m an expert. - Dennis Sharpe
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? - Lily Tomlin
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