Quote Worthy

Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. what others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dram. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. - Unknown

Develop the mind of equilibrium. You will always be getting praise and blame, but do not let either affect the poise of the mind: Follow the calmness, the absence of pride. - Buddha

Sometimes, some problems can only be solved if you are willing to shut your mouth and learn how to open your ears, heart and head. - Unknown

One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted to do. Do it now. - Paulo Coelho

Possession of material riches, without inner peace, is like dying of thirst while bathing in a lake. - Paramhansa Yogananda

Everything is temporary. Emotions, thoughts, people and scenery. Do not become attached, just flow with it. - Unknown

It is better to enjoy the cool breeze of others waving your flag, than to suffer the sweat of doing it yourself. - L.D. Seese

Love is nothing without action. Trust is nothing without proof. And sorry is nothing without change. - Unknown

No one can build you the bridge on which you, and only you, must cross the river of life. - Friedrich Nietzsche

The man who can drive himself further once the effort gets painful is the man who will win. - Roger Bannister

Never judge people by their past. People learn. People change. People move on. - Unknown

If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid. - Epictetus

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Puns

What is a Pun?
A Pun is a joke or type of wordplay in which similar senses or sounds of two words or phrases, or different senses of the same word, are deliberately confused.

Police were called to a day care center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. - Unknown

The barber opened up a shavings account. - Unknown

The batteries were given out free of charge. - Unknown

The guy that fell into the glass making machine made a spectacle of himself. - Unknown

The man put his name on the neck of his shirt so he would have collar ID. - Melman, Kentucky

The phone call interrupted my nap, and I never did get the rest. - Unknown

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground. - Unknown

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. - Unknown

Time heals all wounds, but time also wounds all heels. - Unknown

Venison for dinner? Oh deer! - Unknown

Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms! - Unknown

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye. - Unknown

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A. - Unknown

When you’ve seen one shopping centre, you’ve seen a mall. - Unknown

Will this computer last five years? Obsoletely! - Unknown

Women are women and can’t help themselves. - William John Locke

You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish. - Unknown

Dad: Be careful standing near those trees.
Daughter: Why? The Sky’s clear.
Dad: I don’t know. They look kind of shady to me.

Food for Thought

I know that most men, including those at ease with problems of the greatest complexity, can seldom accept even the simplest and most obvious truth if it be such as would oblige them to admit the falsity of conclusions which they have delighted in explaining to colleagues, which they have proudly taught to others, and which they have woven, thread by thread, into the fabric of their lives. - Leo Tolstoy

Individuals who break through by inventing a new paradigm are almost always either very young men or very new to the field whose paradigm they change. These are the men who, being little committed by prior practice to the traditional rules of normal science, are particularly likely to see that those rules no longer define a playable game and conceive another set that can replace them. - Thomas S. Kuhn

Far from being sources of agony and dread, hard choices are precious opportunities for us to celebrate what is special about the human condition, that the reasons that govern our choices as correct or incorrect sometimes run out, and it is here, in the space of hard choices, that we have the power to create reasons for ourselves to become the distinctive people that we are. And that’s why hard choices are not a curse but a godsend. - Ruth Chang

More Food for Thought Here and the book Food for Thought

Humorous Quotes

It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches. - Daniel Handler

The most exquisite pleasure in the practice of medicine comes from nudging a layman in the direction of terror, then bringing him back to safety again. - Kurt Vonnegut

You'll forgive the flowery talk, won't you? Our family does so love to be told they are beautiful. Vanity is an old and venerable habit. - Catherynne M. Valente

If a man owes me money, I never seem to forget. But if I do the owing, I somehow never remember. - Aristophanes

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework. - Bill Cosby

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it. - H. L. Mencken

I don’t want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment. - Woody Allen

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store. - Kin Hubbard

You can get the monkey off your back, but the circus never leaves town. - Anne Lamott

People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one. - Leo J. Burke

Most mothers are instinctive philosophers. - Harriet Beecher Stowe

There is a great need for a sarcasm font. - Mackey Miller

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Change

Change moves in spirals, not circles. For example, the sun goes up and then it goes down. But every time that happens, what do you get? You get a new day. You get a new one. When you breathe, you inhale and you exhale. But every single time that you do that, you're a little bit different than the one before. We're always changing. And it’s important to know that there are some changes you can't control and that there are others you can. - Dan Dunne

Change. We don't like it. We fear it, but we can't stop it from coming. We either adapt to change or we get left behind. It hurts to grow; anybody who tells you it doesn't is lying. But here's the truth: sometimes the more things change the more they stay the same. And sometimes, oh, sometimes change is good. Sometimes change is everything. - Dr. Meredith Greg

It is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be. This, in turn, means that our statesmen, our businessmen, our everyman must take on a science fictional way of thinking. - Isaac Asimov

It seldom happens that a man changes his life through his habitual reasoning. No matter how fully he may sense the new plans and aims revealed to him by reason, he continues to plod along in old paths until his life becomes frustrating and unbearable – he finally makes the change only when his usual life can no longer be tolerated. - Leo Tolstoy

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Quote Worthy

Laughing at someone else is an excellent way of learning how to laugh at oneself; and questioning what seem to be the absurd beliefs of another group is a good way of recognizing the potential absurdity of many of one’s own cherished beliefs. - Gore Vidal

How absurd men are! They never use the liberties they have, they demand those they do not have. They have freedom of thought, they demand freedom of speech. - Soren Kierkegaard

Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you. - Friedrich Nietzsche

The most intriguing people you will encounter in this life are the people who had insights about you, that you didn’t know about yourself. - Shannon L. Alder

Truth is like a surgery; it hurts, but it cures. Lie is like a pin killer; it gives relief immediately, but it gives side effects later. - Unknown

If you are a gifted person, it doesn’t mean that you gained something. It means you have something to give back. - Carl Jung

It destroys one’s nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being. - Benjamin Disraeli

We are only as strong as we are united, as weak as we are divided. - Albus Dumbledore

The less you respond to negativity, the more peaceful your life becomes. - Unknown

It’s sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew. - Henry Rollins

Adapt or perish, now as ever, is nature’s inexorable imperative. - H. G. Wells

There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance. - Socrates

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Laughter

The man that loves and laughs must sure do well. - Alexander Pope

The man who laughs has simply not yet had the terrible news. - Bertolt Brecht

The only medicine that needs no prescription, has no unpleasant taste, and costs no money is laughter. - Evan Esar

The problem is that we live in an uptight country. Why don't we just laugh at ourselves? We are funny. Gays are funny. Straights are funny. Women are funny. Men are funny. We are all funny, and we all do funny things. Let's laugh about it. - Bob Newhart

The salvation of the world depends on the men whose laughter destroys the fool instead of encouraging him. - George Bernard Shaw

There is laughter that goes so far as to lose all touch with its motive, and to exist only, grossly, in itself. This is laughter at its best. A man to whom such laughter has often been granted may happen to die in a work-house. No matter. I will not admit that he has failed in life. Another man, who has never laughed thus, may be buried in Westminster Abbey, leaving more than a million pounds overhead. What then? I regard him as a failure. - Max Beerbohm

There is nothing [that] disarms us like laughter. - Henri Bergson

To laugh is proper to man. - Francois Rabelais

When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him. - Thomas Szasz

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come. - William Shakespeare

Without laughter life on our planet would be intolerable. So important is laughter to us that humanity highly rewards members of one of the most unusual professions on earth, those who make a living by inducing laughter in others. This is very strange if you stop to think of it: that otherwise sane and responsible citizens should devote their professional energies to causing others to make sharp, explosive barking-like exhalations. - Steve Allen

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humour in anything, even poverty, you can survive it. - Bill Cosby

You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favourite chair and stays as long as it wants. - Stephen King

Food for Thought

People are known by the company they keep, and it is always wise to select the best, for if the lower is chosen, it is impossible to rise; but if the best is not agreeable, it is easy to come down. Of course we must live worthy of the best associates, otherwise we will be forced down, and our humiliation will be greater than if we had never aspired to associate with the best people. - Nicias Ballard Cooksey

The greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread but there are many more dying for a little love. The poverty in the West is a different kind of poverty — it is not only a poverty of loneliness but also of spirituality. - Mother Teresa

Not everything is long lasting. Sometimes people come into your life to show you what is right and what is wrong, to show you who you can be, to teach you to love yourself, to make you feel better for a little while, or to just be someone to walk with at night and spill your life to. Not everyone is going to stay forever, and we still have to keep on going and thank them for what they’ve given us. - Emory Allen

More Food for Thought Here and the book Food for Thought

Humorous Quotes

Men are like chestnuts they sell in the street: they’re all hot and they all smell good when you buy them, but when you take them out of the paper cone you realise that most of them are rotten inside. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

Losing a mate to death is devastating but it's not a personal attack like divorce. When somebody you love stops loving you and walks away, it's an insult beyond comparison. - Sue Merrell

If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people. - Jarod Kintz

Ah, well, I am a great and sublime fool. But then I am God's fool, and all His works must be contemplated with respect. - Mark Twain

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead. - Albert Einstein

There is the view that poetry should improve your life. I think people confuse it with the Salvation Army. - John Ashbery

I don’t mind what Congress does, as long as they don’t do it in the streets and frighten the horses. - Victor Hugo

I don’t know if God exists, but it would be better for His reputation if He didn’t. - Jules Renard

When money talks, nobody cares what kind of grammar it uses. - Robert Elliott Gonzales

Time wastes our bodies and our wits, but we waste time, so we are quits. - Unknown

It’s not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on. - Marilyn Monroe

The easiest way to get a divorce is to be married. - American Proverb

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Quote Worthy

You’re never going to be one hundred percent ready and it’s never going to be just the right time, but that’s the point. It means that EVERY MOMENT is also the RIGHT MOMENT. If you want it, you just have to do it. - Unknown

Whenever you are to do a thing, though it can never be known but to yourself, ask yourself how you would act were all the world looking at you, and act accordingly. - Thomas Jefferson

It’s not about money or connections – it’s the willingness to outwork and outlearn everyone… And if it fails, you learn from what happened and do a better job next time. - Mark Cuban

There are times to stay put, and what you want will come to you, and there are times to go out into the world and find such a thing for yourself. - Lemony Snicket

The innovator has for enemies all who have done well under the old, and lukewarm defenders in those who may do well under the new. - Niccolò Machiavelli

Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. - Carl Jung

It cannot be when the root is neglected that what springs from it will be well ordered. - Confucius

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. - Carl Jung

We are not rich by what we possess but by what we can do without. - Immanuel Kant

The earth is the planet that we live on, our world is what we make of it. - Pandajoe

You don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note. - Doug Floyd

It is the last straw that breaks the camel's back. - Charles Dickens

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