Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, quirky, some of which are also profoundly true.

One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody’s listening. - Franklin P. Jones

One good thing about egotists: They do not talk about other people. - Lucille S. Harper

One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity, there ain’t nothin’ can beat teamwork. - Edward Abbey

One man was so mad at me that he ended his letter: "Beware. You will never get out of this world alive." - John Steinbeck

One more drink and I’ll be under the host. - Dorothy Parker

One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness; a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs. - Josh Billings

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Smauel Johnson

One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your three closes friends; if they seem OK, then you're the one. - Ann Landers

One should never trust a woman who tells one her real age. A woman who would tell one that would tell one anything. - Oscar Wilde

One was never married, and that's his hell; another is, and that's his plague. - Robert Burton

Only men who are not interested in women are interested in women's clothes. Men who like women never notice what they wear. - Anatole France

Only some of us can learn by other people's mistakes. The rest of us have to be the other people. - Unknown

Originality is the art of concealing your source. - Franklin P. Jones

Originality is undetected plagiarism. - William R. Inge

Our ability to delude ourselves may be an important survival tool. - Jane Wagner