Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, quirky, some of which are also profoundly true.

People who make history know nothing about history. You can see that in the sort of history they make. - Gilbert K. Chesterton

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first. - David H. Comins

Perhaps the angels who fear to tread where fools rush in used to be fools who rushed in. - Franklin P. Jones

Pessimism, when you get used to it, is just as agreeable as optimism. - Arnold Bennett

Politics are almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous. In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times. - Winston Churchill

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. - Ernest Benn

Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong. - Richard Armour

Politics: the art of keeping as many balls as possible up in the air at one time - while protecting your own. - Sam Attlesey

Poverty is an anomaly to rich people; it is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell. - Walter Bagehot

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient. - Milton Berle

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long - Ogden Nash

Provoking, isn't it? that when one is most in need of sensible words, one finds them not. - Charlotte L. Forten Grimke

Public schools are the nurseries of all vie and immorality. - Henry Fielding

Puns are little plays on words that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth. - Dave Barry

Questions are never indiscreet. Answers sometimes are. - Oscar Wilde