An engineer designed a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling, bouncing up and down, and stops their nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.
After a news conference announcing the invention, a group of men took the engineer outside and kicked the shit out of him.
Secrets To A Long Happy Marriage
An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine,while sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says, "I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you."
Her husband asks, "Is that you, or the wine talking?"
She replies, "It's me ... talking to the wind."
Who’s Guilty Here?
A wife is dreaming in bed. She suddenly wakes up and shouts, “quick, my husband is home!” Her husband wakes up and jumps out the window!
Winning The Lotto
At breakfast, the husband says to his wife “What would you do if I won the Lotto?
“I’d take half and leave you.” She says.
“Great,” he says. “Here’s 6 pounds. I won 12 pounds yesterday! Stay in touch.”
War Of The Genders
For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.”
Here’s an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.