Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, quirky, some of which are also profoundly true.

Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth. - Jean Rostand

Nothing is really lost until your mom can’t find it. - Unknown

Nothing makes me happier than knowing I can piss you off by just walking into the room! - Unknown

Nothing makes you more tolerant of a neighbour’s noisy party than being there. - Franklin P. Jones

Nothing produces such odd result as trying to get even. - Franklin P. Jones

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light except for bad news, which obeys its own special laws. - Douglas Adams

Now there is one outstanding important fact regarding spaceship earth, and that is that no instruction book came with it. - R. Buckminster Fuller

Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning. - Winston Churchill

Nowadays some people expect the door of opportunity to be opened with a remote control. - M. Charles Wheeler 

O Lord, if there is a Lord, save my soul, if I have a soul. - A Sceptic’s Prayer

O, popular applause! what heart of man is proof against thy sweet, seducing charms? - William Cowper

Of course a film should have a beginning, a middle and an end. But not necessarily in that order. - Jean-Luc Godard

Of course I can keep secrets. It’s the people I tell them to that can’t keep them. - Anthony Haden-Guest

Old boys have their playthings as well as young ones; the difference is only in price. - Benjamin Franklin

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal. - Josh Billings

Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action. - Auric Goldfinger