Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, quirky, some of which are also profoundly true.

We all have our 'good old days' tucked away inside our hearts, and we return to them in daydreams like cats to favorite armchairs. - Brian Carter

We are all born mad. Some remain so. - Samuel Beckett

We are all failures – at least, all the best of us are. - J. M. Barrie

We are all manufacturers – making good, making trouble or making excuses. - H. V. Adolt 

We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavours and furniture polish is made from real lemons. - Alfred E. Newman

We are not at war. We are in armed conflict. - Anon

We can’t all be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. - Will Rogers

We didn't actually overspend our budget. The allocation simply fell short of our expenditure. - Keith Davis

We do not inherit our expressions; they are the signature of the years. - Unknown

We don't have professional burglars here. We have opportunists. - Gerald Cvetko

We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. -Aesop

We met Dr. Hall in such deep mourning that either his mother, his wife, or himself must be dead. - Jane Austen

We must all hang together, or most assuredly, we shall all hang separately. - Benjamin Franklin

We often pay our debts not because it is only fair that we should, but to make future loans easier. - Duc de La Rochefoucauld

We two are to ourselves a crowd. - Ovid

We will hang you, never fear, Most politely, most politely. - William S. Gilbert

We'd all vote for the best man, but he's never a candidate. - Will Rogers