Thursday, 30 April 2015

Paraprosdokians


I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. - Groucho Marx

I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough. - Mark Twain

I like to think of myself as a Natural Disaster. If you really piss me off, Naturally there will be Disaster. - Unknown 

I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I’d love to punch in the face! - Unknown

I try to avoid things that make me fat, like scales, mirrors and photographs. - Unknown

I was going to quit all my bad habits. I really was! But then it occurred to me that no one likes a quitter! - Unknown

I would like to apologize to anyone I have not offended. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly. - Unknown

I’m great in bed. I can sleep for days. - Unknown

If you like someone, set them free. If they come back, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again. - Unknown

If you like someone, set them free. If they come back, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again. - Unknown

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