Humorous Quotes

Quotes which are funny, ironical, quirky, some of which are also profoundly true.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Unknown

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you any worse advice. - Unknown

As we grow older, we pay less attention to what people say. We just watch what they do. - Unknown

Bad planning on your part does not necessarily constitute an automatic emergency on my part. - Unknown

Be obscure clearly. - E. B. White

Black and white are the most ravishing colours of all in film. - Penelope Gilliatt

Brevity is the soul of lingerie. - Dorothy Parker

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious. - Peter Ustinov

Darling, you’re not old until going bra-less pulls the wrinkles out of  your face. - Unknown

Deep down, I’m pretty superficial. - Ava Gardner

Don’t be afraid to be open-minded. Your brain isn’t going to fall out. - Unknown

Entrepreneurs are the crazy people who work 100 hours a week, so they don’t have to work 40 hours for someone else. - Unknown

Everyone brings joy to a room, either by entering or leaving. - Unknown

Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. - Mark Twain

For your information, I would like to ask a question. - Samuel Goldwyn

Free love is too expensive. - Bernadette Devlin

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. - Mark Twain