Humorous Quotes

Humorous, quirky quotes -  some of which are profoundly true

Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for – in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it. - Ellen Goodman

Wisdom and love have nothing to do with one another. Wisdom is staying alive, survival. You're wise if you don't stick your finger in the light plug. Love – you'll stick your finger in anything. - Robert Altman

Despite all the good the world seems to offer, true happiness can only be found in one thing – shopping. - Ling Woo

Regular naps prevent old age ... especially if you take them while driving. - Unknown

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Irish Saying

Happiness doesn’t come cheap. Hell, if it did we would all be smiling. - Dan Scott

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. - Arthur C. Clarke

All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed. - Sean O’Casey

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy. - Spike Milligan

A man in love is incomplete until he has married – then he's finished. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

How I became a better writer was that I kept writing. - Sallie Tisdale

I had amnesia once – or twice. - Unknown