There are many things in life that cause us to feel stress and sadness. Here are 11 things you can quit doing right now in order to create a life that feels easier and lighter. Starting today you can give up on things that no longer serve you and embrace positive forward momentum instead.
Ready? Here we go:
Change is a necessary part of progress and growth and happiness and life! When we resist change we are essentially denying the opportunity for more love and abundance and amazing things to come into our lives. Change has to happen if you want to reach a goal. It has to happen if you want to advance in your career. Change has to happen in order for your kids to grow and thrive. So quit resisting the inevitable! You have the power to guide those changes into a future that is incredible.
This comes right after no. 1 because it is necessary to be clear on what you CAN change. You can change yourself, your thoughts, your feelings, your actions, but you can't change anyone else. You can't change the weather, the stock market, or your parent's deep seated beliefs. When you go around trying to control other people's behavior you will only be disappointed. When you try to manipulate a situation it only leads to frustration. Just stay in control of your own self, and everything else around you will fall in line.
When we get down to it, excuses are just so lame. Everyone else can see that you are making excuses to buy time, or to keep procrastinating, or just avoid doing something that you are afraid of doing. Excuses are a huge waste of energy. Decide to do the thing or decide to not do the thing and move on.
No one else is preventing you from getting what you want. You are 100 percent responsible for your own life. Other people are not putting thoughts in your head or barriers on your progress. In actuality, there are far more people out there who want to see you soar to success then people who want to see you fail or hold you back. Surround yourself with people who believe in your dreams.
This is another huge waste of your precious time. When you are complaining you are focusing on what you don't want and all the things you don't like. Guess what? What we focus on expands...and if your focus is on all the things you just hate those are the exact things that you will get more of. Your power of focus can be used to bring in more of what you do want. The key is to concentrate on the good, the positive, and the life-affirming things.
This happens when we mistakenly believe in perfection. If you tend to find faults in every little thing, or every person that you meet, you will never be able to feel truly happy. Criticism is super negative and judgmental. If you are in the habit of pointing out faults, try to switch the habit to finding the positive attributes. Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have. Perfection is a myth...but beauty is everywhere. Search for that instead.
All those stories that you have rolling around in your head become your life. If you are constantly telling yourself how much you suck, how you should be better, how you screwed up this that or the other thing you will keep undermining your happiness. To be happy, you must be able to tell the story of how everything is working out in your favor. You must tell the story of how much you are looking forward to that bright future that is in store for you. And then watch how things change....
This is a function of ego. If you are always trying to prove to everyone else how right you are, soon there won't be many left to tell. No one likes to be put down, or argued with, or shown how you are always right and they are always wrong. The need to always be right ruins relationships and leaves you isolated. Compassion works way better.
Again, this is about letting go of judgements. Letting go of needing to control others. When you find yourself labeling people and things and religions and whatever, its really just trying to understand them in relation to things that you have already experienced personally. We label things in order to try to make sense of our world. But the world is full of mystery and variety and 7 billion people's dreams and identities. Labeling makes the world smaller, but is that what you really want?
Most of us have a tendency to either relive past experiences or create future scenarios in our mind all day long. It's a shame, because life is actually happening in the present moment. In this very breath you are taking in. Just this one. And if your mind is focused on the past and perhaps feeling regret or loss or anger over how things went down it is negatively affecting your present state. Please, do yourself a favor and say goodbye to the past. It had to happen the way it did for you to become who you are today. Today you have gifts to offer the world because of what you know, this is what to focus on now.
Your life is unique. There is not another person on Earth who sees things the same as you or who has your beautiful insights. There are so many people who are living their life trying to please everyone else, or trying to fit in, or trying to prove their worth based on the standards of others. When you can start to incorporate everything I mentioned above, you can show up as a powerful and positive force in the world! You start showing up as YOU and living the life that only you can. Letting go of the past, of blame and guilt and shame and criticism of yourself and others frees you up to start making a positive impact. You can feel love and trust and happiness when you leave the need to control and the fear of failing behind.
And you can start this very instant.
- Carolyn Maul